Female Masturbation Techniques & Tips:
How To Masturbate For Women
Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: January 17th, 2019
There comes a time in every woman's life where she needs a little "me" time to relieve pent up tension and stress. Stimulating yourself solo style is one of the greatest ways to get a better understanding of your body and what makes you scream out into the night in pleasure.
It's important for every woman to understand exactly what she's into sexually and masturbation is a great way to achieve this.
There isn't really a lot of information out there as for best practices and how to get the best out of your masturbation experience, though.
For whatever reason, the world is still scared to bits of the female orgasm with some people even going as far as to say there is no such thing.
Well, they're incorrect.
As a sex therapist, I've helped dozens of women break down barriers for a much more well-rounded picture of themselves as sexual beings.
Female sexuality is nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of, ladies!
In this article, my goal is to teach women all of the possibilities when it comes to masturbating and exploring your own sexuality.
Before You Get Started
What do you think the biggest erogenous zone of the female body is? The labia? The G-spot? Maybe the clitoris? Actually, it is the brain.
Not sure how what I mean by that?
Being able to orgasm is heavily connected to your conscious state. Have you ever tried to have sex when you just absolutely aren't in the mood? It can feel like your insides are clamped down like a bear trap and magic words or special techniques will open you up again. Connecting with yourself sexually on a mental level is huge to get the most out of the physical sensations you're delivering. Find a way to shed any apprehensions or false beliefs you have about pleasuring yourself. It is your body, after all, nobody has the right to police what you do with it behind closed doors. Choosing to masturbate doesn't reflect on your ability to attract mates and there's nothing unnatural about giving into your own hedonistic tendencies, you're simply taking advantage of what you've been given for your own benefit. Not only that, but you're exploring your own individual sexuality.
No matter how depraved or unconventional your desires may be, there's nothing wrong with choosing to indulge. Allow yourself to be completely present and in the moment with yourself and chase down the orgasm you deserve.
The Main Types Of Stimulation
Now that we've gotten the most important part out of the way, let's touch on all of the different physical sensations available to women when masturbating. I'd like to add that expert level masturbation makes use of all three types of stimulation and each woman prefers different amounts of each in her ideal masturbatory experience.
The clitoris is that little nub found above your vagina, and it is absolutely jam-packed with nerve endings. So jam-packed in fact, that many women find it very easy to cross the line into discomfort if they rub their clitoris the wrong way. At the same time, most women find it difficult to reach orgasm without some kind of clitoral stimulation. Because of the penetration-centric view of sex that permeates our culture, many women leave their clit woefully under-appreciated.
You should try and rub your fingers gently along your clitoris to see what kind of touch it responds best to. If it seems too much to bear directly stimulating your clit, try it over a piece of fabric like a blanket or by rubbing the area directly adjacent to it.
Penetration is the most common kind of stimulation a woman will receive sexually, seeing as how it makes up the brunt of sexual activity and most people's idea of sex is penetrative. The interior vagina walls are lined with nerve endings, yet not as many as the clitoris, and it can be insanely pleasurable. Inside the vagina is also what's known as the G-spot. Scientifically, the G-spot is difficult to describe. We're unsure if it is an area that is distinct and has its own purpose, if it is just an area that happens to have more nerve endings, or if it feels the way it does because it is where the "anchor" of the clitoris meets the vaginal walls. Regardless, hitting the G-spot is widely accepted to be intensely pleasurable, much more than average penetrative stimulation.
Penetrative stimulation is achieved either by inserting one or more fingers inside the vagina or choosing to use a sex toy of some kind. Hitting your G-spot with your fingers is a tall order and if you want to track it down you're best off using a sex toy the size of a slightly-above-average penis.
While it might seem like that covers everything, the other portions of the female genitals are also full of nerve endings. The labia is extremely sensitive to touch and adding a bit of stimulation there when engaging in clitoral or penetrative stimulation can make for a feeling much stronger than the sum of their parts.
Masturbation Tips For Women
Now that you have an alright idea of what you should be targeting, let's get into an actual working process for masturbating.
#1 - Get Comfortable
First off, make sure that you're somewhere completely comfortable where you won't be disturbed. Lay to rest all of your worries about your job, your love life, or your financial stress and focus entirely on yourself. Getting comfortable in bed with the lights down low works fantastically.
#2 - Get Yourself In The Mood
Next, figure out some way to get yourself in the mood. Whether it is thinking about a man or woman you find attractive or putting on a sexy movie, it is essential that you do everything in your power to make your brain understand that you're about to get down to business.
As you start turning yourself on more and more, start giving yourself some physical stimulation. It can start by rubbing yourself over your jeans or you can go right down to it and begin touching your naked thighs and begin making your way to your vagina. Foreplay is entirely necessary with women, we aren't like men, ready to go at first sign of an erection. For your body to loosen up and become more accommodating, you'll have to slowly ease yourself into masturbating. As you caress yourself bit by bit you'll feel yourself getting wetter and eventually your vagina will be practically begging you to put something in there.
#3 - Take Your Time
Do everything in your power to focus solely on the physical sensations and how they make you feel. Don't treat orgasm as some sort of finish line you need to cross to have had a worthwhile masturbation session, there's no need to put any pressure on yourself. Explore your entire body and change up how you decide to rub yourself. For instance, try going around your clitoris in circles as opposed to an up and down or side to side motion, get to the bottom of what you like best by taking the time to explore properly.
Keep going until you're satisfied. For different women, this means different things. It could be a single orgasm, multiple orgasms, or just a good 20 minutes of feeling absolutely spectacular as you blow off some steam.
#4 - Experiment With Sex Toys
In my opinion, every girl should own at least one dildo or vibrator in their lifetime.
Experimenting alone is the best way to figure out what types of stimulation works best for you and sex toys are a great way to achieve this.
There are a few different types of female sex toys available to choose from:
Try Using a Vibrator
Vibrators are a great way to enhance your masturbation experience and can provide the user with intense, enjoyable orgasms at the push of a button (or a few depending on the model).
Many of you reading this have probably already heard about vibrators, however, you may not know that they vary in form and function wildly. Each type serves its own purpose and stimulates the user differently.
Let's go over the various types of vibrators:
Rabbit vibrators get their name from the way they are shaped.
If you look at the picture above (or to the right if you're on a computer), it almost looks like the Playboy symbol which is the outline of a bunny rabbit's head.
They are designed to stimulate both your clitoris and your vagina at the same time.
Wand vibrators are used to stimulate your clitoris and labia.
They are a great toy to experiment with during sex since they don't get in the way, and they are a great addition to every woman's bedside nightstand.
Currently, my favorite wand vibrator is the Lovense Domi, which you can see pictured. It's a big upgrade over the old school Hitachi style and has some real staying power.
Bullet vibrators are typically designed to be very small and lightweight. My favorite bullet vibrator is the Lovense Ambi, which is pictured to the left.
They are designed to allow you to stimulate your clitoris and are also able to stimulate internally with vibrations that can pulsate deep into the vaginal tissue.
Many models such as the Lelo Lyla also double as a wearable vibrator.
Like their name suggests, g-spot vibrators are used to target the g-spot.
They are slightly curved which helps the user target their g-spot and when used properly can provide the user with a very intense orgasm. Finding your g-spot can be a bit of a hassle sometimes but with these toys it becomes a breeze.
My favorite vibrator to target the g-spot would have to be the Osci by Lovense.
Another vibrator thats name gives away its use, is wearable vibrators.
They are designed to be lightweight and capable of being worn underneath a pair of panties.
If you've ever seen When Harry Met Sally, you likely remember the scene where she's wearing a vibrator under her underwear in a restaurant. Well, if you ever wanted to wear a vibrator in public, or under your clothes, it can now be done.
The Lovense Lush is personally my favorite wearable vibrator.
Try Using a Dildo
If vibrators seem a bit too much for you, dildos might be a little easier to wrap your head around. They don't have the vibrating internals typical of vibrators
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they're used for as they are quite clearly meant to simulate a mans genitals.
I've written a simple guide that helps you pick the right dildo that will work for you if you'd like to get started using them.
Things To Keep In Mind
This guide is fairly general because what works for one woman might not work for another. Don't take advice that is extremely rigid and has no room for spontaneity. You can't do this the "wrong" way, short of doing something that hurts you. However you like to get off is just fine, don't worry about it.
Always remember to relax and don't have too much of a focus on a big show stopping orgasm, it just isn't always in the cards, and that's OK. As you masturbate more you'll learn more about how to bring yourself to orgasm and how to listen to your body to give it what it wants.
While this guide may seem main vagina and partly anal focused, I definitely need to mention how powerful other erogenous zones of the body are as well. Playing with your breasts and nipples helps many women zone in to their physical body more and bring them to orgasm much quicker. Caressing yourself around the thighs and pelvic area makes for a fantastic way to build up sexual tension. You don't just have to focus on any one part of the body, it is a whole body experience meant to give you a better picture of who you are sexually.
This last point is one I find to be very important when I talk to women about masturbation. Choosing to masturbate solo doesn't mean that your partner isn't satisfying you or that they should feel inferior. If your partner expresses these concerns, you should talk candidly about how masturbation helps you connect with yourself in an environment with no pressure and it is as important of "me" time as taking a bath or going for a long walk in the woods. It is perfectly normal to let off steam on your own and it has literally zero reflection on your partner's ability to keep your needs satisfied.
There's this misguided belief that women aren't as sexual as men which means that masturbation must mean a woman is some kind of deviant. This is far from the truth, our species wouldn't be able to proliferate the way it has unless both male and female are willing and ready. It pains me how much I have to reiterate it, but when it comes to females masturbating I just have to say: don't sweat it.
You might not be expert level right off the bat, and that's to be expected. If you're interested in seeing what proper clitoral stimulation can do, you should try a bullet vibrator like the Tango that can target your clit with stellar vibrations that aren't too powerful. If your G-spot keeps eluding you, try and go for a toy specifically curved like the Osci, it can be difficult to reach the G-spot without the aid of toys.
Enjoy yourselves, ladies!
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