The Most Realistic Masturbators
My Favorite Pussy, Ass, Mouth & Breast Masturbators
Written by: Don Watson | Updated: May 22th, 2019
A lot of what goes into our level of arousal is visual. My wife and I have said it hundreds of times, the brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
What you see has a huge effect on how horny you are, pornography should be indication enough of this phenomenon and how powerful it truly is.
Not only that, there's certain parts of the human body that we find inherently sexual in nature. Simply put, we like things like bums, vaginas, penises, and who could forget boobs? Sex toy creators have tried to take advantage of this for some time now, with varying levels of success. Some of these toys were disembodied torsos or some really ugly to look at mouth strokers.
Luckily, that's not all there is on the market anymore. Manufacturers are much better at toeing the line between gross looking and actually functional. Now there's more than enough realistic male masturbators on the market for all of us to get our jollies without a care in the world.
Let's take a look at some of the most worthwhile ones, shall we?
The Best Pussy Masturbator
The STU by Fleshlight (The Stamina Training Unit)
The Stamina Training Unit from Fleshlight takes it home for the best vagina stroker by a longshot. The exterior has the characteristic labia & clitoris expected without being so detailed that it borders on the uncanny valley.
As for the actual feeling of the toy, I'd say it does as good a job at standing in for the real thing as a TPE toy possibly can. The exterior sleeve is consistent throughout, as good as some of the more inventive sleeves are on my junk it's safe to say a real vagina doesn't really have 20 different textures inside.
On top of that texture that in of and itself is realistic, it's actually an amazingly pleasurable toy on top of it all. Fleshlight designed it as a toy that was meant to increase endurance during sex, as such it's pretty analogous to sex in sensation and is intense as can be.
All Fleshlight toys have a twist-cap on the opposite end that can be used to adjust the tightness of the toy, adding further levels of customization to the experience.
If you lubed up, attached this thing to the wall with the Fleshlight Shower Mount (review and info found here) and pumped merrily away, all it would take is closing your eyes and getting a little imaginative to have a next-level masturbatory experience.
The Best Ass Masturbator
Pipedream Extreme's Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator
Here's a toy that found the perfect amount of female body to replicate. Some people get offended by these types of toys because they think it reduces women to their sexual parts, but personally I'd say a bigger driver of why these toys are in existence is because they're a lot less expensive than a full silicone sex doll and the creators can focus on perfecting a smaller area of the body.
Billed as having over twenty pounds of pussy & ass, this toy has the rare distinction of being one of the few ass toys that you can really grab onto and have your way with.
The Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator does have both an anal and a vagina hole, inside they're both connected to make washing a bit easier. It's made from a TPE blend called FantaFlesh that's proprietary to Pipedream toys and I find they did a great job inside and out.
Size wise it's pretty true to life, plus the characteristic jiggle of the excessive rump meat is addictive in and of itself. I can't tell you how many times I've slapped it for fun just to watch it bounce around for a few seconds. I think my record is something like four or five seconds of post-slap jiggle.
While I think the Fleshlight STU is a better vaginal toy, the FMSMM can't be beat when it comes to junk in the trunk.
The Best Mouth Masturbators
So this one was a bit harder for me to narrow down.
Do I go with what looks the most like a mouth on the outside, or what feels the most like a mouth on the inside? Do I go robotic or manual?
After some deliberation, I figured that the best choice for my readers who are looking explicitly for a mouth masturbator is both an option that looks most like an attractive mouth and another option that simulates a blowjob to greatest effect.
The Autoblow AI
This toy was created by inventor Brian Sloan with one purpose in mind, to simulate a real blowjob.
The toy uses artificial intelligence to mimic real techniques performed in POV blowjob videos.
They literally made some poor bastard analyze thousands of hours of blowjob videos, to create an artificial intelligence that could mimic the blowjob techniques that pornstars.
The Autoblow AI ticks all of the boxes in terms of realism, minus the visual aspect.
There's something extremely satisfying about a toy doing all of the work for you. Using this toy, really doesn't feel like masturbating. It feels a lot more like you're receiving a handjob than anything (a very satisfying one at that).
I really can't overstate how satisfying this toy feels, it's hands down my most recommended sex toy for men.
Check out the official Autoblow AI website to learn more about this unique masturbator!
The Onyx 2 by Kiiroo
Coupon Code: DRCLIMAX
The Kiiroo Onyx 2 is a very close second. In terms of realistic male masturbators, it ticks quite a few boxes.
What makes the Onyx 2 so special is that it's motorized for a proper blowjob stimulation. It doesn't look like a mouth whatsoever, but no stroking is required as the toy has several rings inside that expand and contract to make for a very intense experience that requires no effort from yourself.
Putting your hand on the top is almost like putting your hand on your dearly beloved's head and the sensations are probably the closest thin you can get to a blowjob with our current level of technology. Of course no toy will be precisely 1:1, but Kiiroo came pretty close.
The Magic Eyes Mouth Masturbator
Magic Eyes La Bocca Della Verita mouth masturbator. It's not offensive to look at (surprising how much the addition of the nose really does as far as making it look half decent) and has every structure in the mouth imaginable. Everything from the lips to the tongue is represented, it even has some small & soft teeth for a little extra sensation.
It's very serviceable as a blowjob toy as well, the ridges inside are well-thought out and I like the feeling. The Bocca Della almost took the cake from the Autoblow AI & Onyx 2 entirely.
However, I'd be lying if I said this toy even came close to being as satisfying as either of the automatic masturbators I recommended above.
The Best Breast Masturbators
Sexybaby Big Double D Breast Masturbator
Most men have a thing for plump, perky boobs. I can't say I'm not the kind of guy who went online looking for a titfuck simulator, and I found that best in the Big Double D pair of knockers.
Almost lifelike in overall size and appearance, I really enjoy the addtion of the collarbone and a bit of the lower abdomen. It makes for a flawless base when the toy is rested on a flat surface that allows for some wonderful pumping action. As far as the feel, to get the required perkiness the breasts are a much closer to feeling like fake breasts than real ones, but the experience this makes for makes it worth it.
There's not much space between the two individual breasts wich makes for a perfect enveloping of my manhood whenever I give it a proper session. Since the breasts try to return to their original position best they can, it only adds to the experience from there.
They're not perfect, but this is the best option I've found on the market. Others were either at a different scale in a way that made the breasts just kind of weird, or they didn't have substantial enough of a base for a proper tittyfuck.
So, if it's big heaving tits you're after, this is it.
Pipedream Extreme's Fuck Me Silly 2
For those interested in a much more comprehensive experience, the Fuck Me Silly 2 has one of everything on this list minus a mouth. It's a pinch smaller than a real woman's torso, but still big enough to get my motor running.
The small size also contributes to a feeling of tightness inside of the orifices in my opinion, making for a really good time. The breasts are plump and full but a little on the firmer side, but they do have enough jiggle to be more than entertaining.
With hips and a waistline you can really get a handful of, it's one of the more comfortable and interesting sex dolls I've ever used. I like experimenting with what positions work best and I'll often switch between the vagina and the anal hole extremely frequently.
Surprisingly the toy is also completely waterproof, the benefits of a warm bath are not to be underestimated with the Fuck Me Silly 2.
Thankfully some lube and toy cleaner is included in the kit, I hate having to make a trip to the gas station because I'm out of go-go juice.
That's pretty much every part of a woman represented, which was the aim of this article. If you're a woman looking for a good option for a realistic dildo, I'd suggest checking out the Vixskin Mustang, my wife was really surprised by what it had to offer.
Primarily these toys exist to satisfy some pretty simple desires of ours. We're attracted to certain parts of the body and fantasize about sex acts involving them. These toys allow you to live out these fantasies to some degree without it being contingent on having a willing partner. Something like the breast masturbator might be a good choice for a man who is satisfied his current female partner but still thinks about what it would be like if she were more well-endowed.
No matter your reasons, I hope one of these toys serves you well.
If you have any questions at all just leave a comment down below and I'll get back to you as soon as I can!
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