Is It Gay To Like Anal Play?: 
The No-Nonsense Truth

Written by: Don Watson | Updated: June 2nd, 2023

When it comes to male sexuality, there are a lot of preconceived notions. Things like a man being "in charge" of the encounter, certain expectations from the male end of things, and of course what kind of stuff is permitted to go down in the bedroom in the average heterosexual relationship.

The male bum is typically reserved as off-limits for straight men. Even the mention of a finger dilly-dallying around the area can be enough for men to put up all of their defenses and start to shy away from a sexual encounter. For whatever reason, a man and his masculinity and sense of sexuality have been intrinsically connected to what he does or doesn't allow to happen around his rectum.

The thing is, this notion is much closer to something you'd hear in a high school locker than something you'd hear among sexually confident and well-adjusted males.

The thing is, the bum isn't the domain of any one sexual orientation. Both genders have bums, both genders can have fun with their bums, and there's no reason to be bum-shy unless it really isn't your thing for no other reason than you just don't like the idea.

Why Most People Think Anal Play Is Gay

See, the most commonly known form of anal sex between two human beings is between two males. Of course there's male-female anal sex, but it has much different connotations. Women aren't always in the mood for it and some women avoid it entirely. Compare this to gay relationships where penetrative sex between partners is exclusively anal. It's the whole reason that there are "tops" and "bottoms" in the gay community. I prefer the euphemisms pitching or catching, but that's not really the point here.

All of this has contributed to a sexual landscape where it would appear that any men who welcomes anal stimulation is statistically likely to be a homosexual male. So, people think that butt stuff = gay. 

There was a point where people thought regular bloodletting from doctors was a tried and true method to stay healthy though, so public opinion doesn't necessarily mean universal truth.

The Reality Of The Situation

Let's look at the bare definition of homosexuality. Homosexuality is defined as the quality or characteristic of being attracted solely to people of one's own sex.

So pure and simple, if you aren't attracted to people of your own sex, you aren't gay. It really is that simple. Any sex toy, whether it be a prostate massager, a butt plug, or even anal beads has nothing to do with homosexuality whatsoever. Think about it, these are inanimate objects, they have no gender, no sexuality, and nothing else that even remotely connects it to any group of people, let alone the homosexuality community. Everybody has an anal cavity, therefore everyone can enjoy anal.

Anal is enjoyed differently by the two sexes, however. In both genders the anal cavity is chock full of nerve endings that can bring extreme pleasure when rubbed the right ways. Some toys abuse the fact that the sphincter has a push/pull effect and this means the toys kind of move around on their own, making it a completely involuntary way to enjoy some anal play.

But for men specifically, about 3-4 inches deep inside the anal cavity is a thin layer of tissue that separates the anal cavity from the prostate. For a very long time, the prostate has been hailed as the male G spot, with orgasms from the prostate being a whole other beast compared to one from penile stimulation (if you're curious about prostate orgasms, check out our full writeup). Prostate orgasms are intense, whole body, and can be had back-to-pack without much of a refractory period to speak of.

What I'm trying to get at here is that there are some very real and very pleasurable spots inside the anus and it would be silly to swear them off completely because of some pre-conceived notion that anal play is for gay people and only gay people. The sensations feel the same no matter what your sexual orientation is and using fingers or toys to take advantage of these mind bending sensations has nothing to do with your individual sexuality.

Does using a Fleshlight make a gay person straight? No!
Does using a prostate massager make a straight person gay? No!

How To Experiment With Anal Play

If you still aren't comfortable with the idea of anal play or anal toys, that's completely fine! You have no obligation to suddenly become into that kind of stuff, but if your reason is because solely it is "gay" then I'm sorry but you are completely mistaken. 

For those who can overcome the falsehood that liking a bit of bum play has nothing to do with your sexuality, I'll show you some of the best ways you can enjoy a little booty bonanza.
Warning: Once you give these a shot, you might need some anal stimulation every time. It's really that good.

A Finger In The Butt

The most basic warm-up to getting into anal play with be with either your finger or the finger of your dearly beloved. It's cheapest and most risk free way to see if anal play is up your alley or something you could maybe get used to in time.

First, you should start by playing with the area directly around the bumhole, where the tissue starts to become soft and clearly different from that of the cheeks themselves. Have your finger nice and lubed up, and then see how much you can place inside of yourself. Try inserting your finger so you can bend it towards the front of your body, that's your best chance of touching the prostate. It's going to be a new sensation, so be ready for some shivers or chills one you give it the first scratch. After that, you might find it pretty addictive.

Next up is the mighty butt plug. If you're wondering what my favorite plug is (if you aren't, too bad) it is none other than the Hush by Lovense.

Butt plugs take advantage of the anal cavity by stimulating as many different nerve endings as possible while also leading to an almost overwhelming feeling of fullness. This feeling of fullness coupled with the toy moving around while having sex makes for a sexual experience that's completely novel and worth every second in my humble opinion. If you're lucky, you might even be able to score a plug like the Ditto by We-Vibe that does a pretty satisfactory job tickling the prostate.

Now these toys are a whole other beast when it comes to male anal play. I'll admit, it even took me a while to get over my connections with anal toys and homosexuality and of course the idea of putting something up my butt, but after talking it through with my wife I managed to see the light, and each and every day I use a prostate massager I'm happy I did.

These toys are tailor made and anatomically shaped to hone in on what has to be one of the most sexually sensitive parts of the male anatomy then move, rumble, and vibrate their way to an explosive orgasms and probably a few yelps that could be mistaken as those of a wounded dog. 

My favorite would be the Edge because of how it can be bent into place to fit me personally and I like the strong vibrations, but the Nexus Revo 2 is what I'd suggest for absolute beginners who want to 100% make sure they feel comfortable as well as tickle their prostate.

Prostate orgasms are real, and they are a force to be reckoned with.

The Final Word

That really is all there is to it.

Liking, thinking about, or wanting to try anal play does not make you gay. Hell, even having a man insert a butt plug inside of you doesn't make you gay if you aren't sexually attracted to him. Is getting a colonoscopy gay? No!

Unfortunately certain parts of masculinity have taken over some of the more logical parts of our brain and kept many men from enjoying the full erogenous potential of their bodies. While it is unlikely you'll see a picture of David Beckham advertising the newest butt plug, that's not to say he might not have a little something-something tucked away in a nightstand drawer, and I can guarantee you he feels no shame about it if he does own one.

About Don Watson

My name is Don Watson and I love to support my wife Angela's passion for human sexuality. It pays dividends for me personally and I enjoy writing about the topic as I'm a sexual person by nature. I concern myself with everything on the website that has to do with the male reproductive system to compliment my wife's female-oriented content. Have any questions? You can contact me via email.

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