Prostate Orgasms 101:
What Is a Prostate Orgasm?
Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: January 22nd, 2019
A prostate orgasm is the things male fantasies are made of, whether you're aware of it or not. Even just the stimulation of the prostate without orgasms feels like the beginning of an orgasm. You know when things are tensing up and just about to blow? The climb, if you will? That's what the entire build up to a prostate orgasm feels like and the payoff is explosive seeing as how your body has essentially been stuck at the height of pleasure for several minutes.
Men are still uneducated about the glory that is a prostate orgasm. There's two main pressures that prevent men from being fully comfortable with the idea. The first is the conservative idea that as far as sexual pleasure is concerned men need not worry about anything that involves the anus and the second is the more sexually liberated viewpoint that involves a lot of sketchy terms like "prostate milking" and other things that seem very uncouth. There is a healthy middle in which you're neither a puritanical person who's butthole is completely off limits or a hedonistic butt fanatic. Choosing to engage in a little prostate play doesn't have to be over the top in the same way that there's some very vanilla ways to masturbate.
First thing's first, let's get into some more detail as to what exactly I'm talking about here.
What Is A Prostate Orgasm?
If you're a little rusty on your male biology, I'll get you up to speed. A lot goes into ejaculation. Fluid comes from the seminal vesicles as well as the prostate to serve as a kind of medium for sperm to travel. The prostate itself secretes prostate fluid which makes up about 30% of semen volume and helps sperm live in the acidic environment of the vagina long enough to fertilize an egg.
Now the prostate itself is situated right below the bladder and the muscles in the prostate also help to propel sperm through to the urethra, that "oomph" you feel as semen is shot out of you is in part controlled by these muscles.
The prostate is stimulated best by going in from behind using the anal cavity, you need about 2-3 inches worth of reach to tickle it from behind. If you look at the diagram to the right you'll notice there isn't a whole lot of tissue between the anal cavity and the prostate itself, making this pretty much the only way of giving yourself a prostate massage.
Based on the position of the prostate, you can see it's helpful to have something shaped like a bent finger to try and massage the prostate. It is about the size of a walnut. For the intense and powerful orgasms that are possible through prostate stimulation, many refer to it as the male G-spot. Once properly tickled and rubbed the right way, the nerve endings surrounding the prostate make for an unforgettable wave of pleasure to cascade throughout your entire body and leave you feeling absolutely satisfied.
Prostate orgasms can be achieved with or without ejaculation, and tend to come on very fast once you find the right spots to stimulate.
In short, a prostate orgasm is the result of a prostate massage in which something is inserted up the rectum and made to rub against the prostate for some amount of time.
How To Have A Prostate Orgasm
So I would assume your next question would be, "Don, if it really is so great, how do I try it out for myself?" That's a good question, after all. Knowing that a knee-buckling orgasm is just three inches up your bottom at any given time can be an interesting prospect. If you're new to anal play, its best you go slow and try not to rush anything. On that note, don't expect your first time or even your first few times to be the height of prostate massage. There is a bit of a learning curve involved.
The first few times I recommend that you just use your finger and a lot of personal lubricant. And I do mean a lot. If you're put off by the idea of using your bare finger, I recommend putting a condom on your finger for sanitary and safety reasons, plus it makes it way easier to apply a whole bunch of lube that'll have some staying power. Focus entirely on the prostate, there's no need to add penis stimulation just yet.
Give Yourself Enough Time
First, this isn't something you should try if you're pressed for time. Rushing with a finger or toy up your butt is just asking for disaster. It's still your butt after all and you should treat it with respect. Make sure that you won't be interrupted by anybody and that there are no distractions in the room that would cause you to lose focus. This is a very involved procedure, remember that.
This is not the kind of time where you want to get nervous and have your rear end pucker up like it's your first time in the prison showers. Prepare adequately by going #2 at least an hour beforehand and ideally even taking a nice relaxing shower afterwards to loosen up your muscles and get yourself in as stress-free a state as possible. There's very little that can go wrong if you just take your time and you aren't doing something against the law.
Take a deep breath and relax. It's going to be worth it.
This is also the best time to prepare yourself with lube, a towel, water, and essentially anything you need to keep you in the moment and relaxed without a care in the world.
Assume The Position
So this is it, zero hour, launch time. Getting into the right position is important for both functionality and comfort when it comes to giving yourself a prostate massage. The easiest positions to use in my opinion is either on your side with the leg facing the sky bent upwards to give yourself some room to work with or kneeling forward on my knees with my butt angled upwards towards the roof.
These are just my two favorite positions, yours might be slightly different, but I find those are the easiest starting points.
Now you're ready to go. Lube up your finger or anal toy of choice. You should also apply some lube to your rectum so there's lube from end to end making things as smooth as possible.
Begin slowly nudging into your anal cavity. It will feel foreign and there might be some push back from your body at first, so just keep going slow and don't be afraid if you have to stop and wait for your body to relax again before continuing. A little bit of discomfort bordering on pain is typical, but if you ever feel actual unbearable pain you should consider starting over or trying again another time.
If you're using a toy, typically it'll be shaped in the right way and its just a matter of turning on the vibrations or moving it around via the handle to find and stimulate your prostate. If you're using your finger, feel around for your prostate. It will be towards the front of your body 2-3 inches inside your anus. Rub around until you feel it, you'll know when you hit the spot because it'll feel amazing. From there you'll be able to figure out the edges of your prostate and then work within them.
Keep massaging your prostate until the desired results are achieved. Go on, lose yourself in the moment. You might have just discovered something you'll need every time.
Once you've had your fun its your responsibility to clean up after yourself. You know what else the bum is good for, so you really should go above and beyond during cleanup. Put any towels you used in the laundry hamper and wash your toy thoroughly to get any leftover fecal matter away from it. I find the condom over the finger method extremely useful come clean up time since its just a matter of throwing out the condom.
Things To Keep In Mind
Here's a few things that come up frequently whenever people talk about prostate orgasms, so consider this like a prostate orgasm FAQ:
- You might not achieve a prostate orgasm on your first or even your tenth try. Finding the prostate isn't always easy and then stimulating it in a way your body likes varies from man to man, so don't get discouraged if your results are fantastic right out of the gate.
- You may or may not get an erection during this process. Some men become hard as diamonds while others remain flaccid as ever. Luckily, the pleasure that you're looking for here comes entirely from prostate play and not at all from touching your penis, so it doesn't matter whether or not you get hard.
- Multiple orgasms are possible through prostate play. Orgasms reached via the prostate have no refractory period in which you have to wait for your body to be "ready" again. Achieving multiple orgasms is some parts skill and some parts luck.
- Prostate orgasms don't necessarily mean ejaculation. From prostate play alone you'll typically just have an orgasm, but not ejaculate. If you involve the penis at any point during your session there's a higher likelihood you'll end up ejaculating as well, but prostate massage does not equal cum.
- There's no need to do anything extreme like douching or religiously cleaning your anal cavity. While it isn't the cleanest part of the body, it isn't a festering sewer either, the body is pretty good at keeping itself clean enough.
- Yes, you're going to need lube. The more the better. Don't do this dry, if you make any tears in your plumbing you're asking for some serious discomfort and trouble.
- Only use your finger or toys specifically used to be inserted up the anus. They work the best and everything else just wasn't made to be shoved up there.
If you're interested in really knowing your body inside and out and what kind of sexual sensations you have access to as a man, a prostate massage should be your next step. If using your finger is too much for you, consider getting either a purpose-built prostate massager or a butt plug to do the heavy lifting for you. No matter how old or how young, it's never too late to see what your prostate can do for you.
To all of you men who are still trying to muster up the courage to go up our most guarded hole, just remember that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Seriously, it's just some butt play.
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