Prostate Orgasms 101:

What Is A Prostate Orgasm?

Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: May 25th, 2023

A prostate orgasm is the things male fantasies are made of, whether you're aware of it or not. Even just the stimulation of the prostate without orgasms feels good, like the beginning of an orgasm. You know when things are tensing up and just about to blow? The climb, if you will? That's what the entire build up to a prostate orgasm feels like and the payoff is explosive seeing as how your body has essentially been stuck at the height of pleasure for several minutes.

Men are still uneducated about the glory that is a prostate orgasm and what it can bring to your sex life. There's two main pressures that prevent men from being fully comfortable with the idea. The first is the conservative idea that as far as sexual pleasure is concerned men need not worry about anything that involves the anus and the second is the more sexually liberated viewpoint that involves a lot of sketchy terms like "prostate milking" and other things that seem very uncouth. There is a healthy middle in which you're neither a puritanical person who's rectum is completely off limits or a hedonistic anal fanatic. Choosing to engage in a little prostate play doesn't have to be over the top in the same way that there's some very vanilla ways to masturbate.

First thing's first, let's get into some more detail as to what exactly I'm talking about here.

What Is A Prostate Orgasm?

If you're a little rusty on your male biology, I'll get you up to speed. A lot goes into ejaculation. Fluid comes from the seminal vesicles as well as the prostate to serve as a kind of medium for sperm to travel. The prostate itself secretes prostate fluid which makes up about 30% of semen volume and helps sperm live in the acidic environment of the vagina long enough to fertilize an egg.

Now the prostate itself is situated right below the bladder and the muscles in the prostate also help to propel sperm through to the urethra, that "oomph" you feel as semen is shot out of you is in part controlled by these muscles. 

To best stimulate the prostate, going in from behind using the anal cavity is the way to go. You need about 2-3 inches worth of reach to tickle it from behind. If you look at the diagram to the right you'll notice there isn't a whole lot of tissue between the anal cavity and the prostate itself, making this pretty much the only way of giving yourself a prostate massage.

Based on the position of the prostate, you can see it's helpful to have something shaped like a bent finger to try and massage the prostate. It is about the size of a walnut. For the intense and powerful orgasms that are possible through prostate stimulation, many refer to it as the male G-spot. Once properly tickled and rubbed the right way, the nerve endings surrounding the prostate make for an unforgettable wave of pleasure to cascade throughout your entire body and leave you feeling absolutely satisfied.

Prostate orgasms can be achieved with or without ejaculation, and tend to come on very fast once you find the right spots to stimulate.

In short, a prostate orgasm is the result of a prostate massage in which something is inserted up the rectum and made to rub against the prostate for some amount of time.

Why Should I Seek Out Prostate Orgasms At All?

Besides the obvious hedonistic pleasure, there are actually a few health benefits from prostate milking.

  • Treatment for prostatitis: Men with an inflamed or infected prostate are often recommended by doctors to engage in a prostate massage. The medical benefits are that the prostate itself becomes engaged and works to clear the prostatic duct that carries fluid. Keeping "freshness" in the area helps men feel more comfortable by relieving uncomfortable sensation.
  • Treat some forms of erectile dysfunction: Some forms of ED are related to this area of the body, with prostate cancer or just prostatitis contributing to an inability to achieve erections reliably. By draining the prostate the entire system is given a sort of soft-reboot that can aid in re-establishing proper blood flow.
  • Help urination: Many men suffer with an inability to urinate at all or when they do they suffer from incapacitating amounts of pain. While our medical understanding of why and how a prostate massage can help treat this condition, there is a significant amount of anecdotal evidence that prostate massaging helps restore proper urinary function.
  • Keeps the prostate in good health: Regular massaging ensures that your body consistently produces prostatic fluid. Massaging any area helps to increase blood flow which is necessary for proper bodily function.

Those benefits are all major reasons to give massaging the prostate at least the benefit of the doubt. We're still very far behind where we should be as far as how worthwhile massaging the area can be, likely because of a lack of willingness on both the part of doctors as well as volunteers. Nobody is lining up to receive a gloved finger up their bum, that's for certain.

So yes, besides being a great way to further connect with yourself sexually and blow off some steam, a prostate massage is actually a healthy choice so long as you know what you're doing.

How To Have A Prostate Orgasm - The Basics

So I would assume your next question would be, "Don, if it really is so great, how do I try it out for myself?" That's a good question, after all. Knowing that a knee-buckling orgasm is just three inches up your bottom at any given time can be an interesting prospect. If you're new to anal play, its best you go slow and try not to rush anything. On that note, don't expect your first time or even your first few times to be the height of prostate massage. There is a bit of a learning curve involved.

The first few times I recommend that you just use your finger and a lot of personal lubricant. And I do mean a lot. If you're put off by the idea of using your bare finger, I recommend putting a condom on your finger for sanitary and safety reasons, plus it makes it way easier to apply a whole bunch of lube that'll have some staying power. Focus entirely on the prostate, there's no need to add penis stimulation just yet.

Give Yourself Enough Time

First, this isn't something you should try if you're pressed for time. Rushing with a finger or toy up your butt is just asking for disaster. It's still your butt after all and you should treat it with respect. Make sure that you won't be interrupted by anybody and that there are no distractions in the room that would cause you to lose focus. This is a very involved procedure, remember that.

Relax!

This is not the kind of time where you want to get nervous and have your rear end pucker up like it's your first time in the prison showers. Prepare adequately by going #2 at least an hour beforehand and ideally even taking a nice relaxing shower afterwards to loosen up your muscles and get yourself in as stress-free a state as possible. There's very little that can go wrong if you just take your time and you aren't doing something against the law.

Take a deep breath and relax. It's going to be worth it.

This is also the best time to prepare yourself with lube, a towel, water, and essentially anything you need to keep you in the moment and relaxed without a care in the world.

Assume The Position

So this is it, zero hour, launch time. Getting into the right position is important for both functionality and comfort when it comes to giving yourself a prostate massage. The easiest positions to use in my opinion is either on your side with the leg facing the sky bent upwards to give yourself some room to work with or kneeling forward on my knees with my butt angled upwards towards the roof.

These are just my two favorite positions, yours might be slightly different, but I find those are the easiest starting points.

Get Started

Now you're ready to go. Lube up your finger or anal toy of choice. You should also apply some lube to your rectum so there's lube from end to end making things as smooth as possible.

Begin slowly nudging into your anal cavity. It will feel foreign and there might be some push back from your body at first, so just keep going slow and don't be afraid if you have to stop and wait for your body to relax again before continuing. A little bit of discomfort bordering on pain is typical, but if you ever feel actual unbearable pain you should consider starting over or trying again another time.

If you're using a toy, typically it'll be shaped in the right way and its just a matter of turning on the vibrations or moving it around the anus via the handle to find and stimulate your prostate. If you're using your finger, feel around for your prostate. It will be towards the front of your body 2-3 inches inside your anus. Rub around until you feel it, you'll know when you hit the spot because it'll feel amazing. From there you'll be able to figure out the edges of your prostate and then work within them.

Keep massaging your prostate until the desired results are achieved. Go on, lose yourself in the moment. You might have just discovered something you'll need every time.

Clean Up

Once you've had your fun its your responsibility to clean up after yourself. You know what else the bum is good for, so you really should go above and beyond during cleanup. Put any towels you used in the laundry hamper and wash your toy thoroughly to get any leftover fecal matter away from it. I find the condom over the finger method extremely useful come clean up time since its just a matter of throwing out the condom.

Things To Keep In Mind

Here's a few things that come up frequently whenever people talk about prostate orgasms, so consider this like a prostate orgasm FAQ:

  • You might not achieve a prostate orgasm on your first or even your tenth try. Finding the prostate isn't always easy and then stimulating it in a way your body likes varies from man to man, so don't get discouraged if your results are fantastic right out of the gate.
  • You may or may not get an erection during this process. Some men become hard as diamonds while others remain flaccid as ever. Luckily, the pleasure that you're looking for here comes entirely from prostate play and not at all from touching your penis, so it doesn't matter whether or not you get hard.
  • Multiple orgasms are possible through prostate play. Orgasms reached via the prostate have no refractory period in which you have to wait for your body to be "ready" again. Achieving multiple orgasms is some parts skill and some parts luck.
  • Prostate orgasms don't necessarily mean ejaculation. From prostate play alone you'll typically just have an orgasm, but not ejaculate. If you involve the penis at any point during your session there's a higher likelihood you'll end up ejaculating as well, but prostate massage does not equal cum.
  • There's no need to do anything extreme like douching or religiously cleaning your anal cavity. While it isn't the cleanest part of the body, it isn't a festering sewer either, the body is pretty good at keeping itself clean enough.
  • Yes, you're going to need lube. The more the better. Don't do this dry, if you make any tears in your plumbing you're asking for some serious discomfort and trouble.
  • Only use your finger or toys specifically used to be inserted up the anus. They work the best and everything else just wasn't made to be shoved up there.

Internal Prostate Milking Guide

I personally believe that internal milking using sex toys is the easiest and most pleasurable way to enjoy a prostate massage. I've actually made a list of my top rated prostate massagers.

The guide for external milking will follow shortly but if you want the most bang for your buck and to really know how intense the experience can be, give internal stimulation a go.

Pictured to the right is the Lovense Edge, a toy that helped guide me through my first few attempts of finding the prostate spots and exploiting them for all they had to offer.

I found that after comparing it against some of my later purchases, I liked how big it was overall and how adjustable it was.

The main end can be bent to better fit personal biology, I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a modular toy with enough girth and length to get the job done.

Make Sure You're Ready To Start

Have you followed all of the above tips on how to best prepare yourself? Make sure to completely relax yourself and empty your bowels before getting started. Also look to make sure you have your prostate massager/finger help and lubricant ready to go at this point. Start by laying down on a comfortable surface such as a bed or a couch. As you get more experience you can get a little bit more creative with your regular prostate massage as far as positioning is concerned. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

Add generous amounts of lubricant to your anus as well as whatever you plan on inserting up there. This is one time where there's really no such thing as too much lube.

Go Slow And Listen To Your Body

You may now begin by inserting your device of choice into your body. Take care to go slowly as you insert and always take note of how you're feeling. Some slight discomfort is normal but a painful sensation is not. The prostate gland is approximately 2-3 inches inside the body facing the front, ensure that the curve is towards the front of your body and then move the toy inside.

Locate The Prostate

This part is a bit easier with a finger than it is with prostate massagers in my experience. You're looking for a walnut sized bump within your anal cavity towards the front of the body.

You'll be pushing the tissue towards this point so it rubs up against your man bits.

Finding it can take some time, you'll know when you're on the right track when the sensations go from regular and unassuming to much harder to ignore.

It feels much like the feeling you get right before you reach orgasm, with each rub and tap bringing that sensation closer to the forefront of your mind.

Begin Your Prostate Massage

Once you've located the prostate gland the fun can really begin. How you choose to best lead yourself to a prostate orgasm is a matter of personal preference, here's a variety of the best ways I've found to get the job done:

  • Contraction method: Using your kegel muscles as well as the same muscles you use to stop pooping mid-session, you can contract said muscles and force the toy/finger inside of you closer to the prostate. By consistently flexing and un-flexing these muscles, you'll create a back-and-forth sensation and be well on your way to wonderful orgasms. This way is best if you don't want to move the toy/your finger around too much.
  • Movement method #1: Using either your finger or the handle of the toy (most have a perineum end that is easy to grab on to), move in a "come hither" motion to push the tissue of the rectal wall and apply pressure directly onto the prostate. This is probably the first method you'll experience any amount of success with as it allows for direct control of what's being touched. Don't be too forceful with your movements, the rectal cavity is quite delicate.
  • Movement method #2: By moving your body around slightly you can make the toy inside of you reach forward and rub your male bits to your delight. This is more for people more confident with letting their bodily movements dictate what goes on inside of them. By bringing your waist up and down you can force some movement into the toy and make it do all of the hard work for you.

These methods can be mixed and matched to your delight, I never use only one method whenever I sit myself down for a good old fashioned prostate orgasm. If you're consistently feeling strong sensations that slowly build up sexual pressure then you're on the right track. Just keep doing what you're doing and eventually the sensations will bubble over into an orgasm.

I should mention that there's no refractory period with prostate orgasms compared to penis orgasms. The intense experience can be immediately repeated as many times as you'd like with no lag time in between each prostate orgasm.

External Prostate Milking Guide

If you don't want to insert something inside of your body to enjoy the beauty that is prostate orgasms, I don't blame you one bit. Luckily, there is an option for those among us who would rather apply pressure from the outside of the body.

It involves using the perineum (gooch, taint, whatever you'd like to call it) to push the rectal wall into the prostate. Mr Racy has a good write-up on external milking, when it comes to external prostate massaging it's always better to have as many different perspectives as you can since it's much more up in the air than internal style.

Lay Down & Get Prepared

Much in the same way as with internal stimulation, you should lay down somewhere comfortable and get naked. Bare minimum you should be naked from the waist down as you'll need direct access to the perineum.

Begin Applying Pressure

If you're using your fingers you should be using your index, middle finger, and ring finger to make a large point. I personally find a toy much better for external prostate stimulation since they're usually softer overall and just shaped better for finding the male g-spot in this fashion. Place the tip of your desired stimulator directly in the middle of the perineum and begin moving in circular motions while adding more and more pressure. You should feel the sensations begin to get more intense as time goes on, that's how you know you're doing the right thing.

Notes On External Stimulation

When you choose this kind of prostate stimulation, you should be aware of the fact that you probably aren't going to tickle the male g-spot enough to actually have an orgasm. You should probably couple in the regular penis stimulation you're used to and reach orgasm that way, just with a little bit of prostate fun to help bring up your overall pleasure level.

I'm Having Trouble With Prostate Milking - What Gives?

If you are having trouble enjoying everything a prostate massage has to offer, don't fret. It's very common to have some difficulty when you're first starting out. The prostate orgasm process should be one that feels good, not one where getting any kind of worthwhile sexual pleasure seems like a chore as opposed to a delight.

If you're too tense while hunting down your prostate you won't be able to push the rectal wall where it needs to go in order for you to get the kind of sensations you're looking for. Yes, you're shoving something up your bum, I don't blame you for being a little on edge about the situation. Do everything in your power to get comfortable so you don't tense up and ruin the experience for yourself. If you just can't hack it the first time around, don't get discouraged, you might be surprised how easy it is the second time around.

Use The Right Toy For You

Depending on your personal tastes and biology, what kind of prostate massager you use can change the experience. If you want to be able to move the toy around yourself, consider a smaller toy like the Aneros Helix Syn that allows for much more finely controlled rubbing and tickling. If you want something where you can let the bulk of the toy do most of the toy, something like the Lovense Edge is more suited for you. Carefully choose based on size and shape what toy you get to help out.

Experiment With Different Positions

Laying on your back is the easiest way to get to the prostate, but it isn't the only way. Getting on all fours or bending your body while semi-upright is another way to try and track down this elusive gland. Change things up and see how it changes the amount of subjective pleasure you feel, it could just be a change of position for you that makes all the difference.

Be Patient

You aren't going to get the hang of things right off the bat. It's kind of an intermediate level thing to try out prostate orgasms for yourself. Expect it to take about 30-40 minutes during your first sessions for you to feel anything worthwhile. As time goes on and you learn more about yourself, it'll get much easier.

Things To Keep In Mind

Here's a few things that come up frequently whenever people talk about prostate orgasms, so consider this like a prostate orgasm overview:

  • You might not achieve a prostate orgasm on your first or even your tenth try. Finding the prostate isn't always easy and then stimulating it in a way your body likes varies from man to man, so don't get discouraged if your results are fantastic right out of the gate.
  • You may or may not get an erection during this process. Some men become hard as diamonds while others remain flaccid as ever. Luckily, the pleasure that you're looking for here comes entirely from prostate play and not at all from touching your penis, so it doesn't matter whether or not you get hard.
  • Multiple orgasms are possible through prostate play. Orgasms reached via the prostate have no refractory period in which you have to wait for your body to be "ready" again. Achieving multiple prostateorgasms is some parts skill and some parts luck.
  • Prostate orgasms don't necessarily mean ejaculation. From prostate play alone you'll typically just have an orgasm, but not ejaculate. If you involve the penis at any point during your session there's a higher likelihood you'll end up ejaculating as well, but prostate massage does not equal cum.
  • There's no need to do anything extreme like douching or religiously cleaning your anal cavity. While it isn't the cleanest part of the body, it isn't a festering sewer either, the body is pretty good at keeping itself clean enough.
  • Yes, you're going to need lube. The more the better. Don't do this dry, if you make any tears in your plumbing you're asking for some serious discomfort and trouble.
  • Only use your finger or toys specifically used to be inserted up the anus. They work the best and everything else just wasn't made to be shoved up there.

Prostate Milking FAQ

How Do Prostate Orgasms Feel?

The way I like to describe it is that you should think about that feeling you get right up until you cum. The feeling people seek to maximize while edging, essentially. When massaging your prostate it is going to feel like that mostly the entire time except with a feeling that's equally as intense as your pre cum feeling is to regular masturbation. After that you'll have a massive release of all of this stored up pleasure that's at least one or two magnitudes stronger than your average orgasm.

In short, a prostate orgasm feels good, like one of the best orgasms you'll ever have.

Will My Penis Get Hard?

Sometimes, but not always. Some men don't ever really get much of an erection while others have one that is nothing short of raging. This is more of a mental thing than it is a physical thing, erections are not a guaranteed part of the experience.

Am I Going To Ejaculate?

Sometimes, but not always. Prostate stimulation does not always mean you'll ejaculate from your penis. Sometimes the sexual stimulation is just so strong that you can't help but also get a rock hard penis that's along for the ride, but it isn't necessarily part of the experience each and every time.

There's Really Health Benefits?

In your travels of looking up how to have a prostate orgasm, you're sure to find lots of stories about how it can help prostatitis, urinary control, and a handful of other options. The scientific literature is still pretty lacking overall, but the health benefits are present. No crazy methods of action are here, it's just simply known that you can use a prostate massager for health reasons since by massaging the area you'll be creating lots more blood flow. Prostatitis is effectively aided by the extra blood flow and the clearing of the prostate, it isn't too crazy of a method of action for beneficial effects. I'm confident in the benefits being real since it isn't out of the question for big health information resources like Heathline to touch on the health benefits of stimulating the prostate.

Some Of My Favorite Prostate Toys

Lovense Hush

The Hush has always been a favorite of mine for the raw sexual pleasure it can bring. Much like other Lovense toys, it comes with full app support for remote control. Anal penetration is very simple thanks to the sleek silicone exterior that feels good thanks to the plushiness while still being hard enough to find it's way inside my rectum. Some water based lube goes a long way of course, but out of all my prostate toys it is one of the simplest to insert and then stimulate the prostate with.

The amount of different vibration settings also sets it apart from any other prostate toys like it. For those who want an out of the box experience there are a full seven different massage settings ranging from different intensities of constant vibration all the way up to pulses, waves, and two magnificent settings that practically scream sexual pleasure named Fireworks and Earthquake, respectively.

Even if those patterns don't float your boat the Hush allows customized stimulation in that you can find whatever fits your sex life & desires by making custom patterns through the app. Feel free to check out what other people have made as well as the app allows any custom pattern to be shared. Some of them are in excess of 30 minutes long!

Lelo Hugo

Now as far as prostate milking is concerned, the Hugo is a great choice for men who are having issues actually tracking down this elusive gland since it is a bit longer than the average prostate massager. It has a full 4 inches of insertable space, with most people saying they feel like they just need about 3-3.5 inches to achieve the right kind of prostate stimulation.

If the sound of remote control play is appealing but you'd rather not involve your phone in your sex toy life, the dedicated remote controller that comes with the Hugo should be a welcome surprise. Besides that, the silicone on this prostate massager is nice and smooth for easy insertion, feel free to use the satchet of lube provided for free but I highly recommend having your own dedicated bottle on hand. When it comes to anal play, there's no such thing as too much lube.

The variety of the presets is often what keeps me coming back to the Hugo. Getting all the way to a prostate orgasm is different for everyone and I find that the vibration settings on offer are great with my personal biology. I've dealt with tons of toys that just didn't have the right kind of power or settings behind them to get me over the finish line, thankfully the Hugo is not one of them.

Final Words

If you're interested in really knowing your body inside and out and what kind of sexual sensations you have access to as a man, a prostate massage should be your next step. If using your finger is too much for you, consider getting either a purpose-built prostate massager or a butt plug to do the heavy lifting for you. No matter how old or how young, it's never too late to see what your prostate can do for you.

To all of you men who are still trying to muster up the courage to go up our most guarded hole, just remember that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Seriously, it's just some butt play.

About Don Watson

My name is Don Watson and I love to support my wife Angela's passion for human sexuality. It pays dividends for me personally and I enjoy writing about the topic as I'm a sexual person by nature. I concern myself with everything on the website that has to do with the male reproductive system to compliment my wife's female-oriented content. Have any questions? You can contact me via email.

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