12 Tips To Last Longer In Bed (For Men)

Written by: Don Watson | Updated: January 8th, 2019

If you are finding yourself finishing the race far from your partner’s desired finishing line then we have two pieces of news that will help you feel significantly better. The first is the fact that you are not alone, for a countless number of men around the world face this issue and the second is that there are numerous methods that can help you last longer. This article will provide you with a list of methods and tips that will hopefully bring you and your partner closer to the sex that you deserve.

Simply because most men do not admit the following fact does not mean that it is not true- a lot of men find it difficult to pass the five minutes mark. In fact, some research shows that 50 percent of men reach orgasm in two minutes only or even less. Research published by the Journal of Sexual Medicine shows that the average time sex takes between heterosexual couples without counting foreplay, is 5.4 minutes. If you fall on that average we have more good news for you; according to research, the range of desired time for a sexual encounter is 7 to 13 minutes, so you are not that far off! Now that we’ve established that you are not alone and have informed you of what you should be aiming for, let’s delve a little deeper into what you need to do to get there.

Hopefully you will become the sexual beast that you wish to become with our help.

1. Practice Makes Perfect

We do not think that this is advice that you would hate at all- you and your partner need to go at it like rabbits to improve the length of your sex sessions.

See the thing is, when you are with a new sexual partner, the novelty of the act mixed with the intense excitement and psychological pressure to impress would most probably always result in you finishing early. One thing you can do is train yourself to last longer by using a male masturbator.

There are plenty of toys on the market to choose from, but one I personally recommend is a toy made by Fleshlight, the Stamina Training Unit. Just like the name suggests, the goal of this product is to increase your stamina in bed.

Just like we lift weights to strengthen our muscles or run to increase our endurance, using toys like the Stamina Training Unit, you can train your penis to last longer while you’re having sex.

2. Try Using Delay Sprays

Delay sprays are applied directly onto the skin of your penis and are designed to prolong ejaculation. There are many different brands available on the market, many of them with little to no evidence to prove their efficacy while others such as Promescent have clinically backed studies which prove it’s efficacy. 

Many men go all out due to sheer excitement and give a 100 percent from the get-go, but even though you might think that is great for you, it is not at all good for your partner- and the overall sexual experience. The key to satisfying your partner is consistency over a decent period of time rather than the maximum effort for a short time. Pace yourself, maintain a pace and keep at it while making sure to breathe well and not overuse your muscles. Lack of oxygen and over-excursion of muscles lead to disturbance in your blood flow and cause you to finish too early or cause your erection to weaken, or even disappear completely.

3. Invest in Sex Toys

Many people have expressed how the use of toys has caused them to have an overall better sexual life. You might consider them cheating but trust us, they will take your game to a whole new level and your partner will not be complaining. If you are facing difficulty in lasting long enough for your partner to finish, tap out when you are near orgasm and use a toy of your partner’s choice. Take a breather then come back to the game when you are both closer to the finish line.

4. Masturbate Before You Have Sex

Male masturbation before intercourse by few hours has proven to improve the performance and duration of the experience. If you have not ejaculated for a long period you basically go in with a full tank and ready to burst. Masturbating sometime beforehand makes it easier for you to last longer since you’ve already emptied the first chamber of the day. This technique has been used by men for decades.

You will also require more foreplay to reach arousal, and as we will discuss in the next point, the more foreplay the better so you will be hitting two birds with one stone.

When you have emptied the chamber already before having sex, your excitement will be curtailed and you will be more in control of your pace and more able to develop a better rhythm.

5. Take Advantage of Foreplay

Many men do not appreciate how important foreplay is to lasting longer in bed.

If you take the time to pleasure her and bring her to an orgasm before you start having sex, you’ll leave your partner satisfied no matter how long you last during sex.

Also, it can be beneficial if she pleasures you orally for a few minutes before you engage in penetration. By taking advantage of soft foreplay from your partner (with the goal not being to make you cum) you can get warmed up and last longer once you start doing the deed.

Not to mention, both you and her will be lubricated sufficiently for excellent sex.

Now that you are both warmed up, you’ll be able to lengthen your sex session as well as increase the level of satisfaction for both of you.

6. Spice Things Up

When you have been with your partner for a prolonged period of time you might fall into routine positions with little to no variations. Your body becomes accustomed to this and anticipates your coming, which makes you finish earlier. Confuse your body with a new position and switch things up, the more novel and even awkward the positions are, the more you raise that sense of confusion and the time of intercourse.

Trying some Kamasutra positions can both prolong orgasm and also drastically increase the enjoyment of sex for you and your partner.

7. Boner Pills Are Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

If you’ve been suffering from premature ejaculation and have tried numerous ideas to alleviate it, then it might be time for you to turn to modern medicine and set up that doctor’s appointment. You need to face this and realize that this is affecting your relationship in general and might show its ugly face outside of the bedroom due to tension and your partner’s lack of satisfaction.

Many supplements and over the counter medicines claim that they can improve your endurance and stamina but trust us, you are better off going to a urologist that actually knows what he/she is talking about.

8. Train Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

It is a fact that all your muscles need strengthening and maintenance, especially when it comes to controlling your orgasm spasm, which is causing your untimely ejaculation. Basically, your pelvic floor muscle is in charge. You can strengthen it through a variety of ways such as kegels, yoga, and pilates. There is even an app that you can download which contains a training regimen for this specific muscle that will only take up 10 minutes of your day. The app is called Stamena and it provides you with specific directions and exercises and it reminds you to do them at the time intervals you set. According to its creator, you should be achieving significant enhancement to your sexual longevity when you are at around level 8.

9. Buy The Right Kind of Condoms

Let’s start by saying that if you are not using condoms then you definitely should start doing so. The first and obvious reason is the protection they provide for you and your partner from STDs and other kinds of infections.

Condoms also help in dulling the sensation a little bit, thus allowing you to last longer in bed. If you are using them and they are not helping in increasing the duration of intercourse, then you need to try out different kinds. Invest in new and thicker ones for more effect.

However, avoid double bagging- which is the use of two condoms.

10. Squeeze The Base of Your Penis

This advice is old but gold and is based on research done by Masters and Johnson. These two pioneered sexual health research and as a result, ended up putting sexual intercourse in the scientific research sphere, which was seen as defying the morals of society back then. You or your partner can squeeze the base by hand or by using a cock ring. What this does is make ejaculating much harder, like when a hose is put under pressure which decreases or stops the flow of water. Make sure not bend the penis though since that might induce injury, just hold it nice and firm.

11. Practice Edging

Edging is basically stopping right before you ejaculate and giving yourself a break for a minute before you get back to the game. It is a bit tricky because if you have already passed the point of no return it would all be for nothing.

First practice by yourself in your own masturbation time, stop right before you go over the edge, take a few breaths, then go back. Try to do this a couple of times at least each time you masturbate. It might be frustrating at first but trust us, it is worth it because you get both a short term and a long term reward.

The short term reward is that after edging yourself two to three times while masturbating, when you finally let go, your orgasm will be quite intense and pleasurable. The long term reward is that you will increase your stamina and endurance. You’ll also become more capable of stopping yourself from finishing when you’re with your partner since you have gained discipline and more understanding of the feel of your orgasm.

Talk to your partner about edging so that they can help you by simply telling them to stop or slow down once you feel that you’re about to prematurely burst.

Remember, you’re in this together and having their support is of the utmost importance to your success.

At the end of the day, you’ll both be reaping the benefits of prolonging your orgasm.

12. Overcome Your Own Sexual Anxiety

This is the last but definitely not least important piece of advice. Trust us- you need to get out of your own head. If you overthink and worry too much your fears will turn into a reality. If you go in thinking that you will not last long and will end up disappointing your partner, spoiler alert, you most definitely will.

From a scientific point of view, insecurity and anxiety will inform your body that you are not safe and the body will do what it does best when it assumes danger; it will attempt to shorten the time of you being exposed to risk. It does so during sex by leading you to ejaculate early or even worse, lose your erection. This can only be remedied by changing your mindset; you need to approach sex with a confident and positive attitude of how you are going to perform. As we discussed earlier, talking to your partner about it can be of great help, share your concerns and desire to perform better and include them in the process. They will appreciate you opening up and wanting to improve your sex life and thus provide you with the support needed to get you in the right mindset and get out of your own way.

As we mentioned earlier, many share your problem and it is nothing to feel embarrassed about. The more you allow it to shape your mindset, the further you will be from achieving your goals and maintaining a healthy sexual life. The mere act of opening up and working against the issues as a united front is more than half of the work.

There you have it. That’s all I got for you.

That was the list of our tips and strategies to last longer in bed. We truly hope that it was helpful and that you are now on your way to a healthier and more satisfying sexual life. Remember, this will require a lot of work so please do not get frustrated and stop halfway.

Sex is an important part of every relationship and it is worth the work needed to improve it. Keep at it, practice, get out of your own head, open up to your partner, and keep figuring out what works best for your body. At the end of the day, no one knows you better than you so keep digging to figure out the root of your challenges and combat them in a consistent manner.

If you have any more tips you’d like to share from your personal experience please be sure to leave a comment below!

About Don Watson

My name is Don Watson and I love to support my wife Angela's passion for human sexuality. It pays dividends for me personally and I enjoy writing about the topic as I'm a sexual person by nature. I concern myself with everything on the website that has to do with the male reproductive system to compliment my wife's female-oriented content.

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