How To Use A Prostate Massager:

A Guide To The Perfect Prostate Orgasm

Written by: Don Watson | Updated: April 19th, 2023

A prostate massager is a surefire way to get an orgasm that'll quickly let you know whether or not your walls are thin enough for other people in the house to hear your moan. They are specifically shaped for the male anatomy and make it so you don't have you put your fingers in your no-go zone just to have a little fun.

The best prostate massagers are made from silicone and have strong, rumbly motors that are perfect at giving the prostate exactly what it needs. The muscles around the prostate are activated during orgasm, so the buildup is essentially that feeling you get right when you begin to ejaculate and the payoff is even better.

Using a prostate massager is fairly straightforward, but there are some steps that need to be taken if you're expecting to maximize pleasure and minimize discomfort. You are, after all, shoving something up your butt. It requires some tact and professionalism, to say the least.

So, this handy guide will help you use a prostate massager to its full potential and give you exactly what you've been looking for out of self stimulation all of these years. If you've never had a prostate orgasm, I highly recommend giving it the old college try.

How To Find Your Prostate

The biggest question you need to answer right off the bat is where exactly your prostate is located. If you look at the diagram to the right, the prostate is that big light brown gland situated right underneath the bladder.

If you look carefully you'll notice that the area with the easiest access to the prostate is by going up the anal cavity where there's only a thin wall of tissue separating the anal cavity from the rest of the male reproductive system.

The prostate can be found approximately two inches past your anal sphincter (the gatekeeper of the digestive system) and is about the size of a golf ball. If your prostate is bigger than that, you should go get checked out by a doctor because an enlarged prostate can be a serious issue.

So, to find the prostate you need something that can be inserted at least two inches deep into the anal cavity and ideally is angled slightly towards the front of the body.

How To Massage Your Prostate With A Prostate Massager

It's at this point that you're going to need to whip out some lube (I recommend some anal lube), your prostate massager of choice (mine is the Lovense Edge) and anything else you're going to need to feel comfortable. I personally lay down a towel on-top of my bed when I decide to engage in some bum buffoonery, but really it's up to you, lube and your massager are the bare bones necessities.

Not Every Day Is Butt Day

Firstly, you're going to want to make sure it's a day where your anus is receptive to having foreign objects placed inside of it. There are some days where I'm simply too tense or my butt hole isn't being reasonable and I know nothing is going to be able to get through to it. Make sure you're able to completely relax your sphincter and anus before deciding to proceed any further.

Prepare Yourself & Your Toy

The next necessary step is to ensure that your toy as well as your body is properly lubricated. If you aren't using a silicone toy then I absolutely recommend using a silicone based lubricant since they are the slickest and longest lasting of all lube types. Most worthwhile prostate massagers are made from 100% body safe silicone though, so that rules out silicone based lubes because they tend to compromise the integrity of the toy.

Your next best bet is an oil based lube because they provide the necessary slickness and have more longevity than a water based lubricant. There's nothing stopping you from using a water based lube but you should know that you might need to remove the toy and reapply lube during your session and it won't slide into your as smoothly as it would have had you used an oil based lubricant.

Apply the lube generously to the toy and then put a little bit around your anus to ensure a little gets spread around as you insert. The most difficult part to get past is the beginning, after you've gotten past the sphincter your toy should go the rest of the way fairly easily.

Make Sure The Toy Is Facing The Right Way

A prostate massager should be angled downwards slightly at the end. That end needs to be inserted facing towards the front of your body and not the back if you expect to hit your prostate as easily as possible.

Take Your Time

It's rare that you'll be able to get the toy all the way to your prostate in one smooth motion. Go as slowly as possible and allow yourself to relax bit by bit as you slowly insert the toy bit by bit.  You'll know when you've reached the sweet spot either when your toy is inserted all of the way or when you start to feel a very pleasurable tingle overcome you as the end of your toy pushes your tissues forward to stimulate the prostate.

Turn The Massager On And Go To Town

At this point it's all systems go for some wonderfully entertaining personal time. Depending on how your toy works, you should now turn the toy on and allow it to work it's magic. Some people find it easier to turn the toy on beforehand, but I don't recommend it for beginners as it is a bit too much too soon.

Once that's been completed you can either sit back and enjoy what your toy has to offer by cycling through the different vibration modes until you've found one you like, or you can tense and relax your pelvic floor muscles to manipulate the toy into moving around inside you a little bit more. There's no wrong way to enjoy a prostate massage, experimentation leads to happiness.

Remove The Toy

When using a prostate massager you'll be able to have multiple orgasms back to back, so its up to you to decide when enough is enough.

At that point you can slowly remove the toy by grabbing onto the handle and essentially working the insertion process in reverse. I don't recommend trying to "poop it out" but instead relax your body entirely and slowly remove the toy until it is completely out of your body.

Sanitize Your Toy

Everybody knows what their rear ends are capable of and what it's primarily function is. So, do everything in your power to properly clean and disinfect your toys before putting then away. I personally keep a washcloth close by to put the toy on while I transport it to the sink because once you're done they tend to seem a little gross, but it was always worth it for me.

Soap and water are essential and you should be as thorough as possible, making sure to pay extra attention to any nooks, crannies, and bends around the toy where bacteria could accumulate.

After that, you're all done!

Safety Reminder

You should never, ever use a prostate massager that doesn't have a flared based. Not sure what I mean? Most prostate massagers have either a large handle or a wide base that prevent the toy from becoming inserted too far or god forbid become lost up your arse. A lot of coughing and squatting or even a trip to the hospital is what comes next if you accidentally suck your toy deep up inside of you.

That doesn't sound like fun, now does it? So please, for your own sake, get a toy with a flared base.


That's all there is to it, folks. I enjoy a prostate orgasm at least once a week because it offers a whole new level of stimulation that I just can't get out of regular sexual contact. What kind of massager works best for you is a matter of personal taste and you might have to experiment with a few different toys before you find a toy that is the best mix of size, length, and vibration power.

Most toys have a diameter of between 1.5-2 inches which is more than enough to give the prostate a good rubdown, but if you're really worried you might want to go with a smaller toy. Either way, I hope you find something you can enjoy and find this guide helpful.

About Don Watson

My name is Don Watson and I love to support my wife Angela's passion for human sexuality. It pays dividends for me personally and I enjoy writing about the topic as I'm a sexual person by nature. I concern myself with everything on the website that has to do with the male reproductive system to compliment my wife's female-oriented content. Have any questions? You can contact me via email.

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