Aneros Vice Review:
Is This Aneros Prostate Massager Worth Buying?
Written by: Don Watson | Updated: May 3rd, 2019
Typically my prostate massagers stick around for a good bit, but due to the nature of the buttocks eventually there's always a point for me where I feel one needs to go. I'm a simple man, sometimes there's a limit to how many things you've stuck inside yourself you're willing to have a collection of.
They always get replaced though. That's how I found this bundle of joy. Aneros is still a pretty new company for me. I liked their small Helix Syn Trident and decided to look around a bit more. Incidentally, I wished my other one had the ability to vibrate, so take a wild guess at what this new one, the Aneros Vice, can do.
To be brief, it's a fun silicone massager that's endorsed by AVN, a.k.a the same people who make the porn Oscars. I figured it was worth a shot.
What Is The Aneros Vice?
What we have here is different from most vibrating toys as the vibrations don’t come from a built-in battery. Instead, there is a thin bullet vibrator that fits in a hole in the middle of the massager that is powered entirely by AAA batteries.
No charging on this one, worst case scenario should you ever need batteries is to borrow one from a remote control for a quick session.
It’s semi atypical in it’s design, you’ll notice a lot of prostate massagers are angled forwards to better reach for the bullseye, instead the Vice has a nice hourglass figure that works to move around the prostate when fully inserted and there’s some room for fine adjustment when you’re playing around in there.
My other toy, the Syn Trident, is probably one of the smallest prostate massagers out there that can still get the job done. Using the analogy of soft drink sizes, the Trident is a small, the Vice is a medium, and I suppose a toy like the Lovense Edge would be a large.
It has 4’’ of insertable space and each bump is no wider than 1.25’’. If you aren’t quite sure what that means for you as someone who wants to use the toy, it means it’ll go just as far as it needs to for optimum prostate play and is wide enough that it won’t be a wild goose chase just to find your sweet spot.
Surprisingly enough a Duracell battery comes with the toy instead of some weird generic brand which was a nice touch, and the bullet vibrator isn’t just “on/off” either. Three different kinds of vibrations are available: constant, ascending and then descending intensity, and a pulse mode. Not a lot of different vibration modes but if I had to pick only three to include in a toy I’d probably make the same choices.
Without the bullet vibrator inserted the toy doesn’t have much structural integrity due to the large hole going through the middle, don’t consider using it without the bullet vibrator in even if you don’t have batteries to turn it on. The ability to remove the vibrator is more for cleaning purposes than anything that’ll factor into the prostate massage experience itself. In the waterproofing department it’s merely water-resistant, an O-ring keeps water from damaging the battery.
Two different extensions from the plug itself make up the handle. The longer one is supposed to face the backside of your body as it’s meant to deal with the perineum, while the short end supposedly finds some fantastic pressure point that’s in the mid-ass. I can’t confirm the science, but I can confirm that they’re onto something with putting pressure there. Plushness wise, it has enough give that you can squeeze it a bit while still keeping its shape.
Enough with the specifics, time to get to the part where I tell you how it felt to shove this thing firmly inside my keister.
My Experience: How To Use The Aneros Vice
First thing’s first, I had to go get a towel and some lubricant. When you’re using anal toys it can be easy to lose yourself in the raw hedonistic thrill of it all but I’m telling you now that if you don’t have a towel or similar item you can put the toy down on once you’re done but still far from being ready to clean it. Certain things shouldn’t make direct contact with your nightstand, if you catch my drift. The lube is pretty self explanatory, with anal play I’m of the opinion there’s no such thing as too much. Using too much lube is way better than not enough, remember where this thing is going.
When inserting the toy there’s two points where it gets a bit difficult as opposed to one since there’s two bulbs that need to be inserted. The second one still sometimes comes as a surprise to me but pain isn’t part of the equation, maybe mild discomfort at best that passes quickly. It’s definitely significant enough to require patience and a steady hand.
This design is entirely worth it, though. There’s four inches of insertable length, right?
And the prostate is usually 2-3 inches inside the anus, right?
So that means that the skin that goes into the dip between the two bulbs works like a seat for the prostate, effectively cupping it. Exactly where I want my prostate before I go ahead with the vibrations. Constant is use when I need, well, consistency, yet I often find myself using the ascending and descending mode to add this sensation of there being a push-pull dynamic with my state of arousal. It’s good, dirty fun to say the least. I don’t particularly care for the pulse mode but maybe I just haven’t figured out how to best enjoy it yet, and if more practicing means more Vice time, I’m sold.
A nice feeling of fullness washes over me and I can fully decompress and let off some steam after this bad boy is put into place. Not too big, not too small, just right. With the ends both facing the right direction, the Vice fits snugly & securely, I was never worried there’d be an unfortunate shift during play. A fair bit of the vibration manages to travel within the handle itself, I like that it isn’t just dead weight.
Clean up time is simple, take out the battery and give everything a rinse with as mild a soap as possible. Ideally something meant to be used on the face since those are tend to be the least harsh soaps available. The vibrator is best washed with a disinfecting wipe, I don’t really trust the O-ring to be completely watertight.
Where Can You Get One?
Thinking about adding the Vice to your collection?
Well, if you do I'd recommend you go straight to the Aneros website. There's a lot of other prostate massagers/vibrators from China that sort of look the part and I was even fooled for a second when I was shopping around.
Aneros is the clear winner in price for their products on the internet plus their shipping time was pretty quick, I think they figured out some system to get it posted in record time.
Plus, you'll be able to peruse some of their other offerings, maybe there's something that'll pique your interest more than the Vice did.
Definitely a good addition to my constantly evolving collection. No matter what I try to have a good range of sizes on hand since just how full I’d like to feel changes depending on my mood. Aneros Vice is the middle of the road option for size but outperforms some of the bigger massagers I’ve used in raw pleasure. Size does change things, but there isn’t a direct correlation between size and how nice the toy is to use.
This lovely toy makes for a lovely time, I don’t know what else there is to tell. It’s different in design intent than similar massagers making it get the job done entirely differently. The sensations are of course familiar between massagers but I find the two bulb design a pinch more satisfying, at least in the case of the Vice.
Oh, I figured something out about Aneros too. Their toys branded “Syn” are silicone while anything that has a Syn equivalent but goes by the name of “classic” or similar is ABS plastic. Which is best for you depends entirely on how soft you’d like the toy to be.
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