Sex Glider Buyers Guide:
The Best Monkey Rockers Available
Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: February 8th, 2020
Sometimes simple concepts end up being the most memorable ones of all. A monkey rocker doesn't need any batteries, nor a lot of space to use one properly.
I think monkey rockers/sex gliders first came about when someone say one of those foot stools you can rock back and forth and thought, "I need to cut out the middle of that thing and put a dildo on it." Monkey rocker is kind of a strange name, but when the simplest name comes out to be dildo chair I really don't blame them for picking something that's a bit more expressive.
Compared to other pieces of sex furniture, a love glider is actually relatively affordable when you consider just how much added fun one of these machines can add. Perhaps one of the most sought after aspects of a love glider would be the fact that they allow for someone to engage in some fairly true to life double penetration style stimulation without the need to bring an outside person into the relationship. Change the dildo used as necessary and you have more than enough different ways to enjoy sex without the need for
What Is A Monkey Rocker?
The average sex rocker is made up of three main parts: the platform (1), the rocking body (2), and the dildo/vibrator (3)
Some monkey rockers have handles you can use to control the rocking action while others require you to plant your legs firmly and provide the momentum yourself. Both styles work equally as well, it's just a matter of personal preference and whether or not you'd like to use primarily your arms or your legs to get your jollies.
Nearly any monkey rocker will also give you the ability to attach a sex toy of your choosing instead of the one that it comes with out of the box. I consider this level of customization to be an essential feature of any love glider since a differently sized or shaped dildo can change the experience wildly. In fact, based on some people's biology the ability to swap out toys can make the difference between a machine worthy of envy or a very expensive doorstop.
If you're still confused as to what these toys are and what they can provide, keep on scrolling to see my top pics in monkey rockers that are sure to enlighten even the most confused of people.
The Best Monkey Rockers & Love Gliders
#1. The Love Glider Sex Machine (My Top Pick)
I consider this particular monkey rocker to be the absolute best option currently available. Despite how it might look, it actually does arrive fully assembled and ready to go. I still recommend that you check all of the nuts and bolts yourself and tighten them if necessary, for whatever reason a few of the nuts need a little bit of manual adjustment out of the box.
It's 2.5' tall and 3' long with some excellently padded thigh rests that make for a superbly comfortable and dynamic experience. What surprised me the most about the Love Glider is just how simple it is to tailor the speed and depth of penetration with a very minor learning curve. That's mainly because of the handle towards the front of the machine. I just wrap my hands around the handle then get to rockin'. It was actually a lot of fun for me to learn how to use this machine until I felt I had it all figured out. That feeling of accomplishment I got once I was able to rock back and forth at near mach speeds is one I really do wish I got to experience more often.
Included are two PVC dildos that come in at 6.5'' in length, but due to their PVC construction I highly recommend swapping them out for a silicone option immediately. 90% of Vac-U-Lock dildos are compatible with the Love Glider which may just be what sets this toy apart from some of the less versatile options currently out there. Depending on how you position yourself, some hard pounding deep penetrative action is possible or slow and sultry easing of the G-spot for an explosive finish.
As far as maintenance goes it's durable and dependable. The padded thigh rests have a good finish that makes cleaning it just a matter of a quick once over with a few antibacterial wipes and you're good to go again. No wash cycles, no big deal. Keep some tools nearby and make sure to tighten up the nuts and bolts after a few weeks of rocking away and you're 100% good to go for the foreseeable future. I can realistically only see having to replace the dildos used with this machine having a new indefinite lifespan.
If you want to try a monkey rocker that ticks all of the right boxes that one should, this is the piece of furniture to choose.
#2. LoveBotz Bangin Bench (Best Bang For Your Buck)
I always try to include an option in all of my bigger list style articles that takes the concept to its most simple while still being effective. This often results in giving those on the search for an inexpensive but still effective example of the concept so they can see if they'd like to move up to something a bit more involved without having to break the bank. In this case, the Bangin Bench by LoveBotz fits the bill perfectly.
It differs from other sex rockers in that you aren't necessarily rocking back and forth to enjoy yourself, but up and down. People who'd prefer a more up and down style of penetration instead of the slightly angled range of motion provided by a "true" sex rocker will love what this simple sex machine brings to the table.
More useful information about this piece of sex furniture is that the seating area is about 2' off the ground.
There's really not a lot to worry about with this particular model since you're free to use just about any dildo/vibrator in your collection so long as it has a suction cup base or fits in the included harness. After inserting the dildo all that's necessary is to squat over the elastic band then bounce to your heart's content.
Those considering this monkey rocker should also consider buying an extra long dildo depending on how much bouncing they'd like to do to get the depth of penetration they desire. Shorter dildos mean putting in a bit more work while the longer ones make for a more relaxed take.
In my opinion, this option is a pretty good way to simulate the same feelings that having sex in the cowgirl position does. It's small, it's inexpensive, and there's more than enough good ways to get some use out of the thing.
So here's another Love Glider style toy that doesn't have nearly as much of an angled range of motion, depending on how you like your sex chairs this will take everything someone wouldn't like about the Love Glider while keeping everything that makes it so worthwhile.
The seating area is the same padded style thigh for easy cleaning yet there's also no need to periodically tighten the bolts thanks to the slightly different rocker design.
Any harness ready dildo is compatible with this option, further expanding the range of usable dildos away from just Vac-U-Lock style.
are ball bearings for a near quiet experience, in fact whenever I indulge in a riding session on the F-Slider it's me making all of the noise, not the rocker.
As far as comfort goes it isn't quite as padded as some of the other options but the caveat there is it's much easier to sink into the thigh pads to be completely secure & free of worry that you might shift a little bit while losing yourself in the experience.
Depending on how you choose to rock your pelvis the depth and angle of penetration can take on whatever dimension you desire, couple that with the right dildo and there's very little else to worry about besides when your legs will give out after a few quality orgasms.
It's a very impressive monkey rocker in my honest opinion, if you want versatility, dependability, plus the ability to feel as free as a bird, it's worth the slightly premium price tag.
Surprisingly, there's a good deal of variance between any given monkey rocker. The My Diletto chair can be folded up to take up be hidden away at a moment's notice while still feeling secure enough while locked into place that I never once worried it was going to collapse on me.
The butt shaped end of the seat also never fails to get a laugh out of me, it may just be the funniest design choice I've ever seen on a monkey rocker, but don't let the comedic effects of the chair detract from the fact that it's also an awesome rocker.
I personally enjoy the mixture of up and down motion while still having a little bit of angle to it similar to the Love Glider for some G spot fun. Instead of using your legs or having to bounce up and down, it's controlled via the gentle rocking of your hips in a seated position.
It's rated for up to 300 pounds plus it will always get major points out of me for how supremely comfortable it is.
The handlebars are optional to use but I get my best sessions when I use them to secure myself and get into a position I otherwise wouldn't be able to, even during actual sex with my husband.
Use a Vac-U-Lock or similar vacuum secured dildo and Bob's your uncle, there isn't a dildo included with the toy.
Feel free to experiment with different positioning of your back, also figure out where you should sit on the chair itself to get a slightly different sensation depending on your mood.
Once I considered the fact that it's about half the price of any of the high end dildo chair options while providing the same level of fun, it was a no brainer that this is an easy choice for anyone on the hunt for a good monkey rocker.
Monkey Rocker Tips & Tricks
If you really want to achieve the most of the benefits a good sex glider can add to your sex life, there's a bit of optimization to be done plus a handful of things to keep in mind.
Involve Your Partner
The two best ways to involve your partner in your monkey rocker fun is by using your toy as a way to engage in some double penetration action.
The beauty of this is it's just like threesome sex but without the added baggage that comes from involving a third person in your sex life that I often refer to as "relationship dynamite", and not in a good way. The Love Glider and the F-Slider Pro are both a good choice of monkey rocker for this because of the ease of access brought from the fact that you place your thighs on the padded platforms. It's easiest to have the dildo going into the vagina with your partner enjoying some anal sex, yet it definitely isn't out of the question to reverse the script with a little creative positioning.
Besides that, any sex rocker on this list can easily be sat on with your partner being the person doing all of the rocking for you. They'll just need to firmly put their hands on your body and move you around themselves while they have their fun moving you around. Let them be in control of the sex action as they decide just how quickly the dildo goes to town.
Dildo Creativity & Endless Possibilities
What's wonderful about a good monkey rocker is that which dildo you choose can change the experience in a lot more ways than you might consider at first. Either find a long dildo for near effortless action or a shorter option to really test your endurance cardio wise. Factor this in when deciding which of these toys is right for you, as the options that include a dildo harness make for a lot more options than a sex glider that only takes Vac-U-Lock style accessories.
Once you've gotten comfortable with using the device normally, you can work into some of the more expert level techniques of using a clitoral vibrator to really push the limits on what kind added stimulation this will add to your personal sex life. I still surprise myself with all of the funky combinations of wand vibrators or other toys that I've used while having the ride of my life.
Lubrication Is Key
Everyone knows that sex toys and lube go together like peanut butter and jelly. There's another reason why you want to have some lube on hand besides making sure when sex stools are part of the equation. Besides keeping the toys lubed up, you'll want some actual mechanic type lube to keep your toy rocking the way you want, namely as smoothly & silently as possible. Periodic lubrication of all of the joints within your device will keep the toy in a like-new state for an excessive amount of time.
Rock Around The Clock
I hope this article was as enlightening for you to read as testing out each of these dildo rockers was for me to test out myself. Since they don't need any power source they're insanely portable, plus they aren't nearly as expensive as a dedicated sex machine while still ticking a lot of the same boxes they're supposed to.
Curious what else is out there in the wide world of sex furniture? Check out our guide to sex furniture, you might be surprised just how creative some companies have gotten. Personally, we're big fans of Liberator for a multitude of reasons.
Think I missed anything in the article or have any questions at all?
Leave me a comment, I seldom take more than a day or two to clear things up best I can!
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