The Best Desensitizing Anal Lubes:
5 Lubricants That Make Anal Play Amazing

Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: January 5th, 2019

Anal play is a kind of sexual stimulation where few tread on a regular basis. The reasons behind this are numerous: nervousness, fear of pain, or just plain old mental hang-ups surrounding the act. Nearly all of the commonly held apprehensions about anal play are all based in the mind and not so much based in the real, physical world.

The truth of the matter is that anal play and anal sex are insanely pleasurable for both men and women. There are nerve endings in the anal cavity that are responsible for pleasure in their own right, plus the fact that men are treated to prostate stimulation and women get the benefit of a feeling of "fullness" and added pressure that comes from pushing on the shared wall between the vagina and the anus.

Still, anal play can be out of the question legitimately for some physical reasons. Maybe your partner/toy of choice is too large and you just can't seem to get comfortable with having things inserted inside your rectum. Or perhaps you are just too sensitive there for anything to spend any significant amounts of time there. Lots of us find ourselves in this precarious situation but still want some sexual butt play to spice things up a little.

What is there to do? Well, try investing in a desensitizing lubricant.

What Is A Desensitizing Lube?

These types of lubricants were invented for people who need the intensity of anal play to be turned down just a notch or two for it to be pleasurable. How they work is typically through a topical anesthetic like benzocaine or lidocaine being added to the solution.

These chemicals make the nervous response to stimulation much more muted than usual. The feeling is not one that can be described as numbing or tingly, but instead just turns down the volume level of the sensations felt, so to speak. For those who find anal sex overwhelming, these lubricants can be a godsend by allowing them to enjoy just the right amount of pleasure without it being too much to handle.

Best Anal Desensitizing Lubes

There are times where I'd rather not feel the full force of my husband when he wants some anal sex, and the can also help bridge the gap and allow me to satisfy some of our sexual urges even when I'd rather keep things a little less intense. Whether you're new to the game and want to ease in slowly or you've just determined you like things better a little less forceful, an anal desensitizing lube can be worth the time and effort.

Because of this, we've tested out a few different lubes to find the one that works best for us, and here are the lubes that we find ourselves coming back to time and time again:

Adam & Eve Easy Anal Desensitizing (My Favorite)

I personally have a fondness for this lube because the numbing action works gradually as well as goes away gradually. This way, my husband can insert himself inside of me and by the time the numbness starts to dissipate I can fully enjoy it now that I've became a bit more acclimated to having something deep inside of me.

Like most desensitizing lubes this one is water based and washes off easy, but I find this lube is best used alongside another lube to get everything nice and slick and increase the staying power of it a bit before it starts to die down. There's also not a lot of lube in the container so I highly recommend just adding a little bit of this lube while relying on another lube to act as the bulk of the mixture. Something like 7 parts other lube for 3 parts Adam & Eve works best for us, but we just eyeball it in the moment, no need to be precise.

Make sure to give it enough time to kick in, something in the realm of 10-15 minutes should be just fine.

Passion Lubes Maximum Strength (My Husbands Favorite)

Typically we use this lubricant in a two step process, first, Don will apply the lube to a condom after putting one on and then slowly insert himself inside of me while fully erect so the lube can spread around inside of me. Usually there's only some minor back and forth action to rub it into place and let it start doing it's work.

After this, Don will either replace the condom with a fresh one or go in without a condom depending on how much he wants to take a shower afterwards.

This lube does fantastically and begins to work about ten minutes after being initially applied, so we make sure to fit in some foreplay before getting down to business. It's completely water based and has a lot more staying power than most other water-based lubes that we've tried. There's no color or odor to speak of and it doesn't stain the sheets. Any leftover lube is quickly washed away with soap and water, not bad at all!

There's a lot of room for adventure in our sex lives personally, and the Passion Lubes lets us try some more "out there" sexual positions without me having to worry about any discomfort while we move around to get into that position. What we've been able to accomplish with this lubricant would make even the most experienced porno directors blush.

CleanStream Relax

This lube is the easiest to apply and is significantly more slick while still being able to stay in place compared to other lubes. On the ingredients list water is fairly far down meaning that the other constituents responsible for a slicker feel are present in a higher ratio. With a formulation of 2% lidocaine it's a good option if you just want a little bit of numbing to make things more pleasurable as well as reduce the chances that some will get transferred to your partner and make them lose sensation as well.

The pump applicator is great, I've never over-applied and a little goes a long way with this guy. One of the main pitfalls of some of the other anal lubes we've tried is that as they dry out during use they tend to get sticky which ends up providing the inverse of the feeling we were going for. This is not the case with CleanStream thankfully and we've been able to get through entire anal sex sessions without having to reapply once.

What is typically an experience that will have a bit of groaning and "babe, slow down!" thrown into it is made completely worry free and easy. If you let this lube absorb properly before having anal sex there is minimal transfer to the other partner and they'll be able to feel it all while you feel only as much as you're comfortable with.

Power Glide Personal Numbing Lubricant

This lube is great if you're really apprehensive about anal play whatsoever. If even inserting a finger hurts you, this lubricant with 3.5% will numb you like no other while still letting you take advantage of the feeling of fullness that comes from anal play.

I find this lube works greatest around the entrance area which causes me a lot of discomfort most of the time. I find that the place that I need the most numbing sensation is right at the entrance of my anal cavity, and when I want to be as comfortable as possible this is my lube of choice.

Don't overdo it with this lube or else you risk it going sticky too fast. If you just use a little bit and let it do it's thing there will be minimal discomfort over time, but you might have to reapply at least once during your session. It's a very functional lube though and has one of the best mixes of numbing action to added slickness that I've found.

Liquid Sex Desensitizing Lube

The last lube on our list for taking a trip down the dirt road is none other than Liquid Sex.

There's no odor to speak of when using it which keeps both of us in the zone for the entirety of the anal session. It's our least favorite out of all of the options but because of that we often find ourselves using it when all of our other bottles are completely exhausted, so we've actually used it more so as a back up than as the main course, but it still gets the job done.

There's enough numbing action for it to be worthwhile, but it isn't the strongest of the bunch. What it lacks in strength it makes up for in slickness and staying power, which is probably the only reason why we've still kept it around instead of chucking it like the crappier ones we tried. Since it's not extremely numbing, Don can use more than usual which I personally appreciate.

In the end, it's not the most worthwhile, but it is still worthwhile overall.

Conclusion

You don't have to shy away from anal sex just because of a few bad experiences early on, with these lubricants as your secret weapon there's a lot on offer from whatever kind of anal play you're looking for. Still, if there's any pain whatsoever you should cut the anal encounter short because pain is your body telling you something is wrong.

If you're worried about your technique, we've written up guides for both anal sex and anal toys to help you see what you've been missing out on. Don't limit yourself in the bedroom, maybe these lubes are the missing link between you and properly enjoying anal.

About Angela Watson

I'm a sex therapist by day and a sex blogger by night. I love to crush the taboos surrounding sex toys and help people become more sexually liberated. There's no topic too risqué for me to cover and I hope to educate and inform my readers on all things sex. All things that concern the female anatomy or require a more clinical approach than my husband Don can provide is covered by me.

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