My Thoughts On The Ussy Silicone Masturbator
Written by: Don Watson | Updated: August 28th, 2019
At this point in my jerk-off career, showing me a pocket pussy with enough novelty to it to make me turn my head is something of a challenge.
I have an expansive collective of Fleshlights and off brand male masturbators, they all tend towards the same design philosophies if you boil the toys themselves down to simpler terms.
The dullness caused by such samey toys is what drew me to the Ussy. It's made from a very different material compared to most male sex toys, isn't trying to be something it's not (namely, a real vagina), and the overall shape of the thing made me wonder exactly what it was capable of at the end of the day.
So, two weeks and one credit card bill later, the excitement was palpable when I finally got that non-descript brown box that's precisely male masturbator shaped. My wife said she hadn't seen that kind of excitement since her brother was given a new video game console for Christmas a few years back.
It didn't take long for me to figure out whether or not this toy was heinous or heavenly, let's put it that way.
What Makes The Ussy Special?
This oblong yellow fella is made from 100% RTV silicone, something you don't often see in this kind of toy.
More often than not, male masturbators are made from TPE which is a specialized blend of plastics. The fact that it is made from silicone does make it pricier than many other options, but the benefits of silicone in this toy are too great not to mention.
Firstly, TPE is a relatively delicate material. Even with proper use, it isn't uncommon for plastic ridges/bumps to break off over time and for holes to form over time over various parts of the sleeve. During cleaning time TPE is also particularly finicky, certain lubes and soaps are known to slowly erode the structural integrity of a TPE sleeve.
Once you're done cleaning time, you then have to wait a fairly significant amount of time for the toy to be completely dry. I don't know about you, but I'm not a fan of leaving my masturbation sleeves in the dish rack for up to an hour.
The story is completely different with silicone. It is extremely durable, after consistent use there's a very low chance of any kind of superficial damage, even tiny pockmarks take a very long time to form on silicone toys, if they ever do. Also, the only commonly found substance that might come in contact with your toy that isn't great for the Ussy is silicone lube, so as long as you avoid that there's no worries you're ever using the wrong kind of product to clean it or lube it up. But for me, what really makes it a noteworthy toy material is that it is excessively simple to clean (no scrubbing necessary) and dries in under five minutes.
The particular blend of silicone used in this toy is non-porous, non-sticky, odorless, and completely hypoallergenic. As a seasoned sex toy connoisseur, I'll have you know it isn't simple to have a toy tick off that many boxes.
Sounds pretty great, doesn't it? The toy's dimensions are 8.9'' X 3.3'' X 3.15'' which makes it a very functional toy for about 90% of men. The opening "lips" aren't particularly tight in and of themselves, but with the right hand placement that is easily fixed. The toy first opens up with a fairly large main chamber which tapers down to the very tight middle before giving way to the final chamber. At the end of the toy is a ventilation hole that when covered in part or in whole makes for some tantalizingly addictive suction action.
That's more or less all there is to the toy when it comes out of the box, it's the Ussy experience that sets it even further apart from other options.
My Ussy Experience
I was really happy to see that the people behind the Ussy included a complimentary one-use amount of lubricant with the toy. Nearly every male masturbator is essentially useless without lube unless you're a fan of rug burn, so including some for those who don't have some on hand or can't get to a store that has some shows a kind of thoughtfulness this industry desperately needs.
The way the two lips part at the front leads to a small circular portion on the toy that I also find particularly good for putting the nozzle of a lubricant bottle in and then squeezing it in from there. Much more efficient use of lube and less mess overall? Yes please! Once lubricant has been generously applied, I usually just roll the toy in my hands a little bit to coat all surfaces.
When it came time to insert myself, I was impressed by the design of the entrance. It isn't unfathomably tight and the lips part and move across the shaft of the penis during use in a very appealing way.
Of course, I'm also a big fan of using both hands to squeeze the entrance closer together during certain times so I can get the kind of tightness I'm looking for.
Squeezing the main chamber of the toy as I move myself in and out, the tighter end of the toy is an absolute dream come true. It's not how you'd imagine it to feel, it is very pleasurable yet it isn't like you know exactly why, it just is. It is usually at that point that I leave myself in the tighter portion and then cover the suction hole with my finger. I made some pretty loud noises once I figured out how to properly use the suction hole, it is a feeling that even the suction cap of a Fleshlight can't properly replicate, I think it has something to do with the fact that the toy is made from silicone as opposed to TPE.
When it comes time to finish it is a simple matter of finishing right into the end bulb of the toy. Surprisingly, it is very difficult for any male leavings or excess lube to fall through the ventilation hole unless you are explicitly trying to accomplish just that, something I appreciate whenever I have to walk the toy to the sink while it is still full of unmentionables.
Cleaning time is ridiculously simple with the Ussy, as well. All I do is put my finger on the vent hole, fill it with warm water and drain it again and again until there's no bubbles or other indications in the water that there's still lube/spunk kicking around and then just set it down on a hand towel to dry. By the time I'm done washing my own hands (give or take a few minutes) the toy is completely dry and ready to go back into storage.
It feels ungodly nice on the body, is made of hands down the best kind of material a male masturbator could be made of, and cleans easier than any other toy in my collection. The only thing that isn't perfect about this toy is the fact that it is in a higher price category than a lot of similar toys. Unfortunately I think that is something inherent to using RTV silicone, so I don't think a similar toy will ever be released at a lower price point. In my mind however, it was worth every penny. I don't imagine I'll ever have to get rid of it, seeing as how it looks exactly the same as the day I got it and cleans up nice.
If you have some extra birthday money floating around or like to treat yourself to the finer things in life, this is one toy that can actually justify its heftier than typical price tag. My worries melted away very quickly and the longevity of the toy means that over time the price-per-wank will go down with repeated use. I think actually that in total potential wanks this toy might be one of the most economical toys. I compare it similar to buying one pair of good shoes that last several years as opposed to buying crappy shoes that you replace once every six months.
Either way, the Ussy has me convinced that more male masturbators should be made from silicone.
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