Best Strap On Dildos & Harnesses: 
The Ultimate Guide To Strap Ons

Written by: Angela Watson | Updated: February 26th, 2020

There are a lot of reasons someone might seek out a strap on.

For some heterosexual couples, men really like anal play. Couple that with letting their partner be the one "in power" for a change and you have a recipe for some pegging fun. 

Another sizable group of people who like their strap on sex toys would be people of the lesbian persuasion. It doesn't really have to have anything to do with the penis itself, it is often just a means to an end to engage in penetrative stimulation. Good sensations are good sensations, sexual orientation be damned.

Honestly, with the right amount of determination and a bit of jury rigging just about anyone of any gender expression as well as sexual orientation can find some way to integrate strap-on play into the bedroom.

But a lot goes into choosing the right strap on, so my husband and I took to the mean streets of the web to track down the right one. There's a surprising amount of things that need to be considered when trying to hone in on the right one for you and your partner. There's the dildo itself, then there's the harnesses that they strap into. It can be a delicate balance of mixing a comfortable fit with the right aesthetics. What is comfortable might look like a diaper while what is pretty might dig into all of the wrong places.

That's a lot to consider and we haven't even gotten into the strap-on dildo itself yet. So let's go over some of the base concerns then work our way to the strap ons we tried ourselves.

What Is A Strapon?

I'm going to assume most people reading this already know what a strap on is, however, in case you're not totally sure...

Anything that is phallic in nature for the purpose of penetrative stimulation as well as wearable can fit the definition of a strap on.

Even a suction cup dildo poking through a pair of underwear is a strap-on by definition, although you can be sure it won't be taking home the title of best strap-on any time soon.

Since there's so much variance in harnesses and the dildos that fit inside them, it requires a bit of due diligence not unlike the same kind required for more sex toy shopping.

The Best Strap On Dildos & Harnesses I've Used

#1. Lovehoney Advanced Unisex Strap-On Kit (My Top Pick)

After going through lots of different strap-on options with a lot of different toys just to make sure I was set in my decision, this is definitely the one that stands out to me as the absolute best of the bunch. It wins in just about every possible category there is. It's extremely adjustable for a tailored fit, inexpensive, and even comes with a real silicone dildo for good measure.

It secures itself with a handful of different straps, two that hug nicely underneath the cheeks and another that goes underneath the body.

Once you adjust everything and get comfortable the straps don't cause any chafing to speak of while the front pad is excellently padded. I was happy to notice the little pouch on the reverse side of it as well, I threw in a bullet vibrator as soon as I could just to see if I could adjust it to get the same level of close fit I did without it inserted. Lo and behold, just a few minor adjustments later and I was ready to go.

While the straps themselves aren't unlike straps you might have experienced before on a backpack or similar item, the minimalist design of the piece overall makes it easy to feel as if the harness itself is part of you once you settle into a session. On top of it all I actually really like the dildo provided. Don said the gentle curve worked beautifully for tracking down the prostate and I can confirm this strap-on dildo hit all of my sweet spots as well, G-spot and all.

It comes with a few different O-rings that are secured tightly with the four clasps in the middle. It might take a bit of lube to get some dildos all the way in, that just means once they're there you won't have to worry about it going anywhere.

If you just want the harness itself to save some extra money, it can be found as a stand alone product by clicking here.

#2. Aslan Jaguar G Leather Strap-On Harness (Runner-Up)

Isn't Aslan the Lion from that book series? Anyways, if the under the bum style harness isn't quite your cup of tea, this is a harness that accomplishes a lot of what the Lovehoney Advanced model does but in a much more attractive package. It's made from genuine leather with three different adjustable straps, two on the thighs and one right above your butt.

The leather construction is extremely sleek and attractive in person, I'm personally a big fan. The thong style has a level of comfort to it as well. The O-ring on the front pad is fastened by three clasps in a way that gives a good level of sturdiness to any toy placed within. It can be adjusted within a very wide range and I feel as if a person of nearly any size could adequately make use of this strap-on, Don could get it around his waist and fastened with very little effort, for reference sake he's a man who's legs I frequency refer to as tree trunks.

Since there's no "back" to the front pad it's imperative that you choose a toy that can rest comfortably on the pelvis, some level of flared base is necessary. Overall, the soft leather and ease of use makes this a shoe in as one of the best & most comfortable harnesses out there.

#3. Lovehoney Unisex Strap-On Harness Briefs

Here's an option that looks just like regular briefs, I even wore them casually and found once I got over the O-ring being there it was a pretty functional pair of underwear on its own. But we're not here to go underwear shopping, we're here for some strap-on sex.

While it does say Unisex it is undoubtedly fit with the female form in mind. It isn't impossible for a man to make use of it, just expect things to be a little on the tighter side. The model in the picture is a size 8 and wears a size medium, there is a fair bit of stretchiness to the material but I'd say the range of sizes is probably between sizes 6-12.That being said, the low-key appearance of these briefs makes them attractive to anyone who wants a strap-on harness that doesn't border into BDSM territory aesthetics wise.

Dildos with a diameter of up to 1.5'' are compatible with the harness and there is a small amount of buffer material so the base won't be in direct contact with your pelvis. Compared to other models there can be a bit more give while wearing this so keep that in mind. For those who don't want any straps at all and even the opportunity to get into strap-on play at a moment's notice, these are essential.

#4. Desire Luxury Strapless Strap-On Dildo

Here's a prime example of a worthwhile strapless strap-on. It's a completely rechargeable vibrating dildo with a lot to offer both parties. For the person receiving, they can expect 5 inches of insertable space from a vibrator 1.3 inches in diameter, while the wearer is treated to 4.5 inches of insertable space from a 1.5'' diameter vibrator.

So this makes it extremely easy to anchor in place when giving it a try. I recommend using this over other strapless strap-ons since worthwhile stimulation is all but guaranteed for both parties. The size for the wearer puts it in medium dildo size overall. Once I had it inserted I was very confident it would stay in place which was really the main thing I was hoping for in a strapless model. Yes, some kegel work was necessary at times to absolutely make sure it stayed in place, but that just meant more vibrating pleasure in the end! I do think the receiving end could be a pinch longer since five inches isn't a whole lot. The other features of the toy more than make up for its smaller size.

The vibrator itself has eight different settings & 12 different speeds so there's a little something for everybody. The relative shortness of the vibrator itself also makes it all but guaranteed that the rabbit ears will make it to the clitoris for a roaring good time. I truly enjoy the vibrator itself so much that I've had Don use it by him holding it in his hand and thrusting away. In that regard it's also a great addition to the bedroom since the grip you can get from the V shape is a lot easier to keep going strong for those longer sex sessions. Nice!

#5. Packer Gear Boxer Strap-On Harness

For those who want a pair of underwear that can be used for a comfortable all day packing experience as well as for strap-on sex, this bad boy is a welcome addition to the strap-on landscape. It's mostly just a very well made set of boxer shorts that allow for the use of sex toys of all variety, but it's perhaps one of the most comfortable strap on experiences for an extremely wide range of people. It was even comfortable enough for Don to wear despite having a raging erection of his own, I'll admit I got a little selfish testing this one out and refused to move on to the next in the set of harnesses we bought just so I could get some new use out of my favorite dildo.

It actually comes in a few different sizes, with small, medium, and large all being an option. It's more like XS/S, M/L, and L/XL because of the elastic waistband so just shop accordingly and you'll find this is a good harness to try. The O-ring is 1.5'' in diameter which makes it perfect for all of the toys in my war chest. Surprisingly, the strap-on dildo didn't move around nearly as much as I expected it to despite the cotton design. Aesthetically they are absolutely minimalist without tending towards either gender whatsoever.

Whether you're trans, a female, someone who wants to surprise their partner of any type, or just an adventurous guy looking for something new in the bedroom, it's got to be one of the best out there when it comes to underwear style strap-ons.

#6. Fetish Fantasy Series Crotchless Harness

Now this is a strap-on harness I felt worthy of inclusion because it works, it's on the less expensive side, and it doesn't take a hard stance in the looks department. Compared to other choices it's a little less comfortable and also doesn't fasten in the toys used as tightly as other options, although I'm still glad I gave it a try at the end of the day.

There's also no O-ring, the hole is 1.5 inches in diameter much like most O-rings are anyways, so what's it matter at the end of the day? Also, the harness itself is fastened securely using Velcro so there's no real strain to speak of when it comes to having it on for longer periods of time.

For anyone who wants to try a strap-on harness with their partner without having to go off the deep end, it's great. Definitely best used with a dildo that's precisely 1.5 inches in diameter though, as anything bigger won't really fit through the hole while smaller toys just won't cooperate the way you'd like them to.

It's not the prettiest or chock full of fancy afterthoughts, I can concede that. Nonetheless, it's a functional piece perfect for using strap-ons without any fuss to the matter.

#7. Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock Panty Harness

Lots of people end up collecting a sex toy or two that's of the Vac-U-Lock style.

The reason being is that they are compatible with a lot of different things from sex machines to sex furniture just to name a few.

So if you or your partner have a fair bit of Vac-U-Lock toys but don't find them getting used enough, this might just be the harness for you.

Any toy that's used in the Vac-U-Lock system will be a lot more secure than just about any other option, so it's by far the most sturdy harness to enjoy your toy in.

If Vac-U-Lock wasn't enough, there's also three O-rings of different sizes that further anchors the toy into place, it's very accommodating for a sex toy of any size. Whenever I put it on I'd say it would take me about 30 seconds to strap in to the harness and be ready to go.

It is very comfortable to wear and I find the way that the front pad rests on my pelvis to be quite accommodating.  That means I get to put in whatever sex toy of my choosing and then really give Don something worth remembering. The Vac-U-Lock plug is also completely removable, with the plug removed I think it's actually nearly identical to the first item in this list. Each strap can be adjusted using a plastic strap holder that works just like adjusting a backpack.

This is certainly one of the few harnesses I have that can take absolutely any make or model of toy with very little fussing to speak of. I found it easy to put on but I do think the strap holders could be made a bit less noticeable.

How Do I Pick The Right Strap On?

The best way to explain all of the intricacies involved is by going through all of the different attributes available that you need to make sure appeal to how you plan on experiencing strap on play. First, let's touch on all of the different types to understand the implications of each with regards to strap-on sex.

Harness Strap-Ons

Strap ons of this type make up the largest proportion of toys, in fact it's exactly where these sex toys get their name from. There is a harness of some sort that functions as a way to secure the toy in place during use, the design of this harness can be as simple as a collection of straps to as extravagant as something that is essentially a giant leather pair of shorts. It's also possible for a harness type dildo to have a vibrator on the inside so the wearer can get a little something out of the experience themselves. On most harnesses, there is a hole that has an O-ring in it to allow a dildo or vibrator to be seated within.

To be quite frank, only people who don't already have a silicone dildo or two on hand already should consider buying the products that include both the harness and the dildo. There's a big risk that the included dildo won't be made of a body-safe material as well as the fact that they're typically just too expensive as a bundle. There are of course exceptions such as if you or your partner are absolutely in love with the design or it's a particularly good deal even as a bundle deal.

The harness type is arguably the most versatile of all strap-on since you can swap out the dildo used with nearly any dildo where the base is wider than the O-ring of the harness will be compatible to use.

So when it comes to harnesses you need to have a few different things in mind: overall fit, O-ring size, and extra accessories. As far as other accessories are concerned it's a matter of deciding whether or not you want an included pocket that can fit a small vibrator to rest up against the clitoris if you're a female. Another worthwhile "accessory" is a level of padding that can make it a lot easier to thrust quickly and deeply into your partner.

Dedicated Strap-Ons

Now when it comes to this type there's a lot less customization available because the strap-on dildo is built in to the harness. That means no swapping out from one sex toy to a different one if you don't like the dildo it comes with. Some people like them because there's the opportunity for any given toy to be a lot more fastened in place. So for those who want the most sturdy pseudo-penis they can possibly be using, a harness with a built in strap on is the way to go.

I've noticed when shopping that these types also have a wider variety of style choices than swappable harnesses.It makes sense since they can build the harness around a specific dildo instead of having to make sure any ol' sex toy will be able to fit securely. If you plan on going this route, I highly recommend that you have a good idea as to what size dildo works best for you and your partner. You won't be able to change it at a later time, measure your favorite dildo if you have to if it. That way you won't end up with a strap-on dildo that's far too big for an enjoyable session.

Hollow Strap-Ons

We've covered a similar product to these on our site already, they go by the name of wearable dildos, penis sleeves or penis extenders. Hollow strap-ons aren't quite the same but they are meant to be worn by a male to add on a little extra girth or length into the equation in the same way.

There's a handful of different reasons to seek one of these out. Variety is the spice of life after all, sometimes it can be worthwhile just to have a different piece of equipment to work with. In a more medical sense, men who deal with ED can use these hollow strap-ons to enjoy penetrative sex even when their natural equipment isn't fully cooperating. The ability to keep a sex session going regardless of how hard you are can be enough for some men to stay hard enough to eventually reach climax, all while satisfying their partner.

Strapless Strap-Ons

Much in the same way that hollow strap-ons are a male only phenomenon, strapless strap-ons are a female only kind of deal. Because of this, they sometimes go by the name of lesbian strap-ons since that's exactly who they are designed for. Still, an enterprising male willing to use his rear end for some fancy work or transgender individuals can make use of them all the same. They are shaped somewhat like a V with the non dildo end being slightly shorter & has a bulb as opposed to a full on dildo. It's technically a double ended dildo since one end goes inside the penetrator while the other goes into the person being penetrated. This is the best option if both partners want penetrative stimulation, it's surprisingly good on the G-spot.

These can be a lot of fun, what needs to be stated however is that due to the lack of harness and the fact that it's seated within the vagina itself there's a bit of a learning curve involved. It'll also give your kegels a good run for their money as tensing up at the right moments can keep the action going. The main issue is the strapless toy changing orientation mid-thrust or otherwise losing its seating within the vagina. A little bit of practice goes a long way, don't get fed up too early, it took me about three or four tries before I was able to use it satisfyingly.

Where To Buy Strap On Dildos & Harnesses

Without question, the best place I've found online to buy a strap on harness or a strap on dildo is Lovehoney.

They have the biggest selection of strap ons and carry all of the different types that I've mentioned above. Not only that but they also offer some extremely reasonable prices.

You can also save 10% off site-wide by using the following link below.

Final Thoughts

If you're still not sure what harness you should be using even after reading all of that, don't fret! Just take the time to carefully consider how you want break into the world of strap on harnesses.

I'd also recommend taking a look at all of the options available at Lovehoney.

If you want something that's not overtly sexual & fits like normal clothing, any of the panty/boxer style options on this list are a shoe-in. The only downside there is you should expect whatever toy you choose to have a bit more wiggle room overall compared to other harnesses. Still, once you actually get inserted it's extremely easy to set a rhythm, just do your best to stay cognizant of the fact that it isn't 100% secure like other options. One thing's for sure though, they're definitely pleasant to wear!

Those who want a true strap-on harness experience that's easy to get into while offering an unparalleled level of penetrative stimulation should seek out some of the strapped options that resemble a thong. They mostly all come with a variety of different O-rings to put any toy on the menu, any day of the week. I personally think most people should go with these models since both Don and I easily had the best experiences with them out of all of the different types. I implore people to get over how the straps might sit on the body, after about 5-10 minutes of wearing them it was like I had a penis of my own!

Lesbian couples who want the most shared pleasure possible should be reaching for a strapless strap-on, no doubt in my mind. Make sure to pick one that has some added vibrations to really sell both people on the idea. While I'm in a faithful heterosexual relationship, I can only imagine the raw delight of finding a way to move in such a way where both of us have our sweet spots hit simultaneously.

Harnesses are nothing to be feared I must say. I almost wanted one of these to be a complete dud just so I know a good harness from a bad harness. What I learned on my journey is that it's actually pretty hard to find a straight up bad/unusable harness. It's all about making sure that your dildo of choice will be compatible as well as the fact that you should consider whether or not the way the harness fits will be agreeable to you.

Still not sure? Leave me a comment below! We spent a lot of time testing these out, after all that pegging Don really wouldn't mind being able to help out other people to have really made the best out of it all.

About Don Watson

My name is Don Watson and I love to support my wife Angela's passion for human sexuality. It pays dividends for me personally and I enjoy writing about the topic as I'm a sexual person by nature. I concern myself with everything on the website that has to do with the male reproductive system to compliment my wife's female-oriented content. Have any questions? You can contact me via email.

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